Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Thursday November 15th

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@Kate hey kate i hope you are well

@Kate

Hi

Our weather is the total opposite, 36

@Kate

I think sometimes it can be very difficult for people to deal with holidays etc, especially around this time of year due to the expectations surrounding the holidays.

Most people see holidays as a time where you MUST be happy, and you HAVE to spend time surrounded by family and/or friends.

I think it is important for everyone to respect when someone doesnt feel able to that. Not everyone has a good connection with all of their family or any family members at all. For them, these times can be very difficult, sometimes harder than the rest of the year, and it is nice if they know that they have someone there for them, even if they are spending the holidays alone or are struggling more during these times.

Sometimes respecting that someone doesnt wish to participate in a family get together can be a lot more beneficial for that individual than having the extra pressure and expectation on them. Boundaries are SOOOO important. Holidays are expected to be happy times, and respecting boundaries is far more likely to achieve that.

Have a great Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it or if you dont, I hope you have a great week anyways!

@Kate

Nice to meet you. :)

- What would you add to this check-list for self-care during the holidays?

Maybe if you're traveling with a friend/spouse have a kind of plan if things get too intense... Like sticking together or even leaving early if need be. Also, trying to remember that it's ok to take time to make decisions, even if someone asks you something on the spot you don't have to give an answer right away, you can take time to think about it. Remembering that you are allowed to say no. Trying to find the humor in situations/people if you can.

- How can we be especially mindful of both our boundaries and boundaries of others during the holidays?

Try to stay in the present (breathe, maybe hold object to help you ground). Actively listen. Again give that space to make choices.

- What is your favorite holiday memory? (can be related to any holiday)

Honestly my favorite memories are more recent now that I have a family of my own. Childhood holidays were hard. So now it's getting to watch my kids do all the things that kids like to do on the holidays. I like seeing them enjoy family time, feel loved, and have traditions.

Im feeling pretty low tonight, the holidays are hard, lots of bad memories come up :(

Why does everything have to be so difficult 😥

@Kate

Today has been a really stressful day, I've managed to lose my yearly train ticket, which is a lot of money and I have no idea what to do.

Also my boyfriend keeps getting annoyed at me for acting childish... Which I find really hard, like he's rejecting me. I find comfort in acting more childlike and stuff and I didn't have much of a childhood so it feels important to me. The fact he says it's the one thing he really struggled with with me kinda hurts.

Byway, I am in the UK so no thanks giving but I may need to find a pumpkin pie :3 yum!

just typing my check in up for later got a topic to write being a bit of a perfectionist right now as dont want to get it wrong

@Kate

I don't like holidays. I won't be doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. I don't most years. Christmas is another story, but I'm trying to have a plan before we get there.

Today pretty much stinks. My water got shut off, so I'll have to go plead my case with them again. It wasn't a very good day at work either. Sometimes I wish I could just hide in my hole for ever.