Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Thursday September 20th
Hi, everyone! My name's H, and I'm one of 7Cups Safety Coordinators! Some of you may know me better through my parrot, Tuna. :) He has been my best friend and companion for six years of my journey with mental health.
Do you have any pets? Do you think animals can play a part in our coping and recovery?
I'd love to hear what you think, and how you are all doing. It's nice to meet you!
Hi.
I have a puppy and 2 cats. My pup is named Kona and she is just 9 months old. Shes a golden retriever, and when i decided to get her i was a bit torn. I knew it would give me a reason to get up in the morning, a companion to make me not feel so alone. I also knew a little tiny puppy would be a lot of work. And she was. But now she is a big teddy bear with an even bigger heart. I have issues with physical affection from people, but she will rest her head on my and ill wrap my arms around her and she will just sit still. We go on walks when I feel like self harming, or we go to the park and sit. She doesnt use a leash, she just knows what she is supposed to do. She cares about me a lot and loves me unconditionally, and she helps me not feel so alone. I dont think I would be here without her.
@Npepsicola
Kona sounds so amazing! THanks for sharing about your other pets and Kona! I love how you have your doggo as a fluffy support system!!!
@summertimeSamness
@Npepsicola
Aww it didnt work. I was gonna show you a pic of her. Shes so cute.
@Npepsicola
if you repost just the link i can edit it for you and put it up
hey Heather nice to meet you!
Do you have any pets? Do you think animals can play a part in our coping and recovery?
my neighbours cat visits me daily and hes there for me everytime i need him. i think they do play a big part in recovery for sure!!
I'd love to hear what you think, and how you are all doing.
actually i am doing not good. i feel like all my success of recovery is erased... my past abuser is in contact with me again and i feel so terrible about this...
@dynamicHemlock1736
Awwwies, that's so cute that the cat visits you! The kitty senses a good friend in you!!! I don't really know alot about abusive relationships but I hope you are kind to yourself even if other people aren't because you deserve kindness and respect!
I have a dog but he's not a snuggler. I used to have a dog that would bring me lots of comfort. I'm not doing so well today.
@RedHawk6547
Sorry to hear today isn't been so good! *sending supportive vibes your way* do you wanna share more about it? I hope this doggo blanket burrito gif brings a little smile to you <3<3 <3
@summertimeSamness
Thanks for replying. The gif was cute. I am no longer seeing my therapist because of financial reasons. It was my last appt. today. I appreciate the good vibes. I don't have any support system left now. I'm trying here but it takes time to get to know new people.
@RedHawk6547
That's true it does take a long time to build it but it's for sureo possible. I hope we can help you here and help you build it back up. I know it's not the same as in real life but sometimes support here can make a difference. We got your back! In my group therapy we play the game recovery jenga and then she always reminds us that when the tower falls, all the pieces are still there. But it just takes time to build yourself back and put yourself back together. Sometimes the tower looks different than before because you changed and grew when you rebuilt it. And having people to play with and help you build the tower can help alot too. I hope we can help you build back up your tower!
Hey everyone today s been a rough day (haha ruff dogs)
I broke the necklace my grandma gave me when she was alive. I almost cried in the middle of school when I saw I accidentally crushed it with all my textbooks
I don't have much physically from her let alone that she directly gave me
Relationships and feelings are gross and complicated and I wish I never felt it
Then I had to sit and listen to one of my abusers lie for like an hour as she does and make everyone feel bad for her. There's really nothing I can do about that besides leave so me and my friend did
I feel like no one knows who I am and I've become this person and she's so beautiful and older and social and strong and some of that's good but I'm just like...
Am I still here? Is any of it real?
I know some of its still there bc I got nominated to speak at a conference today bc I care about my community and want to help and make it better and know how to
It was nice to know my teachers and mentors were like yea she cares about people a lot. Yea she works really hard. Yea she overcame a lot to be here
And I'm very happy the traits I like in myself like passion and kindness and everything has made people happy and things better and people that use to not can now call me their friend
But then I come home right.
And I'm back here and I remember everything and my father is a man just here and I don't hate him anymore but it's hard bc I can't really talk I can't really feel safe even if he's being fine
And I'm alone and I look in the mirror to feel good about something because
I'm so pretty. Yay. I'm so skinny great.
I need to be it.
I've avoided eating and I didn't mean to it started out fine this week I was eating good healthy meals and I felt in control and good but then I'm at school and I need to look good people can't see how much I've destroyed my face from OCD (I have dermotillomania) so eating is just too much so I ate some chex mix and drank water
And I forgot to take my vitamins and pills
My sister ran out of hers and she really needs them even more than me and I dont know when we will get more
Im so ughhh
I have great friends and sisters and a mom but no one really knows what im like
I tried smoking a flower from our garden because I was that desperate to feel something
(I have never done anything like still have nothing illegal)
I almost had sex with so many guys a lot older than me or wanted to
(They never did anything to me)
I have nightmares almost every night and it's just so grea
t and I never do my homework even though I have straight A's and national honor society and honors diploma
But not summa com laude which will not be fun bc my twin and all my friends will have it and then people will finally see yea I'm not smart like she is
I almost committed suicide like 5 times over the summer but I never told anyone bc they don't need more sadness
I know my best friend might like me and I've known and idk what to feel about that I invited her over when I was in a bikini to tan and I know that's not right to her not right at all (she couldn't come)
And people like me and then don't like me romantically and that's nothing to worry about no big deal
But it is bc the closest thing to intimacy I ever had with someone was with a woman who was old and ebough to be my mom and assaulted me and then with a guy who I just can't be with bc reasons and
These boys and sometimes girls now you like me, well that's great I'm sure I seem like a more stable happy nice person
But you don't know anything about love or dating or sex! I don't even know and I've been with a crap ton of people
Ughhhhh
Idek I do a lot more messed up stuff than the above but I don't want to share it
Ughh I just wish someone could not judge me at all, be my real true friend and be honest how they feel about me
My sister is that except I can't tell her those things and she's my sister
@wittySpruce8187
Proud of you for surviving through everything. This shows your strength and you have the strength to get through anything. I am sorry to hear about your grandma's necklace. Maybe you can find a way to wear it or keep it with you everyday. Like in a special locket box if it fits in there
*sending you a superhero doggo gif*
@summertimeSamness
Just saw this
Thank you!💜
Ya my mom is trying to fix it
@wittySpruce8187 - Thank you for sharing all of that with us, and I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma's necklace - is it something that could be fixed by a jeweler? Or if not fixed, could it be turned into something else that you can wear or keep with you?
I'm really proud of you for leaving when you had to hear your abuser lie like that - it may feel like there's not much you can do, but by choosing to leave, you made an active choice to not be there, to not hear her, and to not let her impact your day any more than she had. That's not always easy to do, but it's an independent and powerful choice.
You said that it feels like no one knows who you are...what are the things that you feel they don't see about you? I think often we don't show our full selves to everyone, but what they see is often still a part of who we really are, too. They see someone beautiful and older and social and strong and those are all real things, even if there is also more underneath they don't see. They see how you care deeply about your community and are making a difference. They see that you've worked so hard and overcome so much. They see your passion and compassion, your strength and determination and so many good things about you. Those are all real, even if there is also more they don't see. Of the other stuff, do you want them to see something else? Could you maybe start to share some of those other parts of you, too? I know it's hard to open up about the pain that sits underneath the happy mask, but sharing it doesn't mean making someone sad or burdening someone - it means letting them in and letting them support a person they care about which is something people want to do.
You mentioned needing to be skinny - can you tell me more about why? What changes if you do let yourself eat or do let someone see more of you? What changes if you show yourself care and compassion just like you show to those around you? Or even ask for support from others like you give to them?
From what you wrote, it feels like you're longing for intimacy - not necessarily physically, but emotionally being able to be more open with someone and trusting that they won't judge. Do you think that some of those people in your life might be able to be that for you if you let them? Is there a way to try to start opening up without feeling like you're losing all control - maybe just one little thing at a time as you build more trust?
Sending you hope for today and a wish that you can turn that same kindness you show others back to yourself as well.
@Anomalia
Thank you so much for all the kind words 💜💜💜!
I can respond more later
I have two kittens named Bear and Willard. They are one of the best things to ever happen to me
@Tinycupcake - I love the name Bear for non-bear animals :)
@Anomalia I do too. It suits her so well. She's fully back too!