Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 18th July 2017

@rozie <3

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Great post, @rozie :)

Will contemplate the questions and come back to them later on.

Doing my best to stay as calm and grounded as possible as I try to break down a full day into manageable portions. Preparing to emerge from isolation to restock food supplies, refill prescriptions, and, later, go to the long-delayed psychiatrist appointment (thoughts of which draw now-familiar anxious feelings to the surface, though I know that it's especially important right now, due to how my symptoms have manifested recently). Even though I have feelings of dread, i know that everything is going to be ok.

Just have to keep telling myself that.

@rozie

Inviting you to share with us... How do you get in touch with your inner child? When you find your self stuck in that young place, what do you do? How has listening to the child within been helpful? ... or about your day, and how its going for you.

I could to much talk about my inner children lol ...so better just say how was my day... Weel I don't make such focus also on my inner child but made few of them and iven gave them personality... I still blame myself and meds didn't make me feel better...worried online talk about trauma. Sometimes wonder do I like to much complicate stuff...

Great post @rozie. My answer is two part, I suppose. It wasn't until I started learning about psychology and mental health that I began to fully understand how some of my personality traits were immature defense mechanisms. In other words, the child that still hadn't learned to cope in a mature way in some situations.

Second, I think the traits I decided to understand and work on first were the ones I thought were undesirable, the traits that I had grown up feeling bad about.

This is probably wrong but it's my truth. I hate inner children, it's not my bag. Don't believe in it.

Now I've got to drag my tired and sick body downstairs to use a public bathroom for bathing (which isn't triggering at all) and drag my unhappy *** to work. Yay.

@rozie Sometimes I feel childish, as you are saying. What I do, is I treat that child like a child. I don't shame that child and tell them, "You are supposed to be an adult! Start acting like one!" Because that typically makes things worse from my experience. Instead, I tell the child that it's going to be ok. I shush them, I give them water, I feed them food, I take care of them. In essence, I'm saying I baby myself. But that's not wrong. It's just taking a more gentle approach.

Sorry late to post. Been bad stressful day and covering intensive care tomorrow for first time in year. Dreading getting triggered.

My inner child gets brought up alot by therapist. I apparenrly havent connected to her since i was a child. That little four year old who loved reading and had read since she could pick up a book, has been beaten by all the voices and the bullies and now me. She is hurt and lost and broken and has no voice. She never grew to fill my shoes let alone my mums.

All our inner children need a break. A rest from the cruelty they had and continue to hear from us. I wish i could forgive myself.

I feel everyones pain on here and wish you all some respite.

@rozie

Hi Rozie,

I echo Kite when I say this is both timely and appropriate for me. I have been doing an inner child art workshop (self paced on my own).

I've been trying to get in touch with my inner child for a while. We are finally starting to see each other without trepidation. Rain also posted information for a inner child writing exercise of using different hands to speak with her. I've been doing it almost every day where I write to her and she writes back with my non-dominant hand. It's interesting.

Thank you for posting this, I'm learning to reparent her with compassion. A cool process that has ups and downs.

Mary

@rozie

Im going to try and write this without triggering myself too much.

I grew up in an abusive home. My dad was someone I tried hard to avoid on a daily basis... he scared me, I would avoid crossing paths with him in corridors because I feared what he could say or do. It was like that every single day...

My mum was initially a good mom when we were little I've been told, but she suffered an assault when I was 6 and since then she was never the same... she had/has severe PTSD and I developed a serious separation anxiety disorder. I could never leave her, I couldn't go to girl guide camps, I couldn't go sleep at my friends or cousins house. I was just so terrified of leaving her. But at the same time she was so unwell she kept pushing me away, often leaving the country for extended periods of time which made me sick with anxiety, especially that I was left behind with my abusive dad and brother. I hate to even say that but I guess that's what they were.

Move always felt like Ive missed out on being a child, and now as an adult I often find myself having childish reactions or behaviors. And I don't realize this, other people will point it out to me. It's like the needs of that child that I once was were never met. And Ive had a real hard time with accepting that I'm growing up lately. Because I know there are so many things I will never get to do and be. It's sort of like mourning the childhood I never got.

@rozie. Wow, what an insightful question, I am not sure I even acknowledge my inner child, most of my childhood has,been forgotten or buried, alot of hurt I still carry, and I still blame the people that I thought should have shown me love and care.