Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 23rd January 2018
Good morning lovely trauma family!
And glad you're here with us today.Whether you're here to read what is written, to write something to share, or have a response to make to a post, you're all welcome. We are each at different places in our healing journey, but collectively we have a shared experience. And we can support and encourage, and be supported and encouraged.Words that are wriiten can sometimes be misunderstood,or trigger, and that can feel hurtful, but its not intentional. If we can have respect for each other, for differing opinions and ideas, we will be enriched in our community.
Many of us write, and enjoy what is written.Here is a poem from @CalmLake .
Ocean of Emotion
Like wave
Stuck in a terrible storm.
I drown beneath these emotions
Sinking deep in the pain.
The sadness and grief..
Constantly pulling.
But moments when I surface,
Brief sunlight in the storm,
One moment of peace..
Amongst the chaos.
A tranquility I yearn for..
If just for a moment,
Everything is fine..
One brief moment,
Of peace in my life.
I know(without a doubt)
I will survive this storm,
One day I will drown no more!!
Love your writing Calm and thank you for sharing this with us.
How is your day going? Have you something to share, a small victory ( each one counts) How can we support you today? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
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Hi Everyone,
I'm new here. Today has been alittle better. The last few days my anxiety has been alittle out of control. I just can't stop worrying about the future and doubting myself. I make myself sick from worrying to the point where I feel like I am drowning sometimes. I know I need to not try to control things so much, but it's how I've always been. Coming on 7 cups has really helped me meet some very compassionate and kind people. Thank you all!
@carefulSkies7564
Hi! and a very warm welcome to you. We are are glad you are here with us. Its good to hear that its been a little better for you. . Anxiety and the worrying that goes with it can make it difficult, but one step at a time in dealing with this and noticing any progress. x
@rozie hey, ptsd person here. need some love.. one victory=i didnt freak out when receiving a surprise hug
@anonymousglitter
Well done! A victory to be proud of. We're glad you shared it with us. With love. x
Tuesday is therapy day. I also had some homework due today though. So I did my homework before work today so that I could come home after therapy and just chill. Pretty sure I accidentally told my therapist something I didn
Okay, I bought a shredder recently, and I just spent over an hour shredding stuff and it was actually almost *fun* lol
I grew u p in an abusive home (I didn't even fully realize the level of dysfunction until I saw my first therapist at age 35 when I was divorcing my narcissistic ex husband), and was raped in my dorm room as a college freshman. My atracker was a football player that lived in my dorm. My roommate was away that weekend, the only weekend I was there alone. I told no one until my first therapist.
I was raised to keep secrets, secrets that weren't even mine. I was raised to feel shame and unworthiness. I was raised to feel undeserved of any good things life may bring.
I have 3 daughters and have been a single mother for 8 years. They are great kids, we live a happy life, and I've been successful in my career. But I haven't been able to find or create a good relationship. I've rarely felt like I could completely trust a man (and on the few times I have they have been uninterested in being in a relationship with me).
From the outside, everyone knows me as the happy, optimistic woman who seems to have her life together. And I do feel gratitude for where I've come from and what I have now. But I have recently realized I still hold an enormous amount of pain, and I don't know how to get through that. I end up suppressing it, to stay string for my family and to keep everything afloat. But it feels dishonest.
I would love to hear what you have done to work through the residual trauma. I'm 45 years old, and I exercise, meditate, etc and have been to several therapists.
@compassionateOcean8652
Hey compassionate. I am almost 42 and a childhood trauma survivor and domestic abuse survivor after a 20 year marriage to a narcisist. for me the most powerful part of my recovery has been community. i have needed so much encouragement. I didnt let any one in till I was 39 when i began telling my story in little bits. I do not know how I would still be alive if it were not for people loving me. it took a lot of courage for me to be vulnerable and start talking to a couple of my friends but now I have been so glad I did. i think people will surprise you. I know the reasons for protecting yourself and guarding. but community is so important in all of our recovery. I would encourage you to seek out someone ouside of therapy to talk to.
@copingwithtrauma
Thank you for your reply. I definitely take that to heart. I have a lot of friends, but I am typically their cheerleader and whenever I've brought up small pieces of my past, it's been glossed over or I feel like people think it's not as bad as it really was. I do need to be more bold in speaking my truth. It doesn't help me to feel like my sharing of myself is reduced or dismissed. I guess people tell me I'm a strong person and so they don't see me as still carrying pain. I definitely do not consider myself a victim, yet I am still recovering. It's a hard spot to be in. I've turned to writing as another avenue, which has been cathartic as well. Observation without judgment.
Best to you on your journey, and thanks for your comments!
My therapist told me yesterday that this summer she will be stepping away from counseling to be a stay home mom. Im happy for her that she will be able to be with her kids but it feels massive for me. it has taken me 2 plus years to begin to feel comfortable and start to make progress. I have DID and she was the one that walked me through understanding what was happening and we are all finally just starting to feel like we can trust and work through memories with her. she wants to transition us to another therapist but the throught of that is unimaginable to me. I do not want to see another counselor and I just want to use the 6 months we have left to work as hard as we can rather than waste time talking about transitioning. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed by this and just want to quit therapy. its so so hard even without this. just facing the work in therapy can be so overwhelming and now I will have this huge change. i really dont think i can start again with a new therapist
@copingwithtrauma
Hi Coping,
You have been in my thoughts this week. It sounds like you have had a number of challenging life stressors of late. I know that you are genuinely happy for your therapist and I also know the feeling of having to make the choice to transition to someone new. Your tenacity is admirable as always. Somehow I felt like you would forge ahead for the next few months (it sounds familiar ☺️). I hope you do choose to take some time to gently allow yourself to transition. There will probably be some who need a little more time than others to adjust. If she has someone in mind, I hope you will allow her ( or him) the opportunity to at least be there for a little while. It is always nice to have a professional to support you as you work through things.
From one tenacious researcher to another, I always want the very best for you and your family.
❤️🌺 (I looked for camellias)!
@rozie
I've had enough, & I'm DONE. Bye.
Well. Had found a balance point again. Then found myself in a social/work situation....which I'm usually really good at...and even that I thought I handlwd well....then I ran into the facilitator of the group...and juat felt ..patronized, laughed at.
And I think that....when I come here....I bleed into the water too much....and it doesn't help. Even here I'm outside the community.
What sucks is....I finally healed a bunch of stuff. And....there's still no place for me. I have all these talents...no one wants. I have all this care and compassion...even insight...no one wants. And DEFINITELY no one wants to hold my hand nor hear nor comfort nor care avout the fears and wounds.....and now this despair.....vecause I lnow now I will always be alone; always have to wear a mask and put on an act....and thst is such a bleak prospect to just walk through lifr ....a shadow of a person who once was was amazing....who once had so much to offer and give and share. ..
I'm so tired. I only wanted to be seen, appreciated, valued just a little.
I envy all of you the support and community you have found.
@SpruceRaven
This is my only support. I live in the US, and my only support lives in the UK, Canada, and Australia (I
@BeeLeigh Thank you very much Bee. I appreciate the encouragement. Ehen ai am in a "bd" spot it's eady to get negative with myself for not having support in "realtime"
