Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 26th December 2017
Morning all!
Phew! Christmas day is done. Hoping everyone made it through as best they could. No doubt about it, this time of the year can be challenging and overwhelming, and we can seem to be out of step with the rest of "everyone" who are having a great time. But please remind yourself its ok to be where you are, and how you are.
As Eckhart Tolle says : " No matter how long your journey appears to be,there is never more than this - one step, one breath, one moment. Now."
And in the interests of continuing to keep it simple...."Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.: Mother Teresa.
Suggesting that after the effort it may be requiring to get thorugh this holiday season, that we owe ourselves time to catch up, to stick to the basics, and ensure good self care is a priority. Maybe do a small thing with great love for yourself or someone else. Happy rest day!
How is your day going? Whats helping you to get through this holiday season? What's been a highlight for you this year? How can we support you? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
This year I was able to enjoy Christmas.I felt calm and at peace.There wasn't anything to worry about or any struggles, grief wasn't bothering me that much as well so I would say it's a win.:D
I don't want to trigger anyone so if someone has some triggers related to safety and getting hurt, I would recommend not reading this stuff I'll talk about next, don't want for anyone to get hurt so please take care of yourself.
The thing that's very actual for me recently is safety.What is being safe, what being safe meant before, what it means now and why I find it hard to feel safe even still.I think I was building my life now by the measures of safety I needed back then when I was a teen and the environment was very unpredictable and that's what brings me so much headaches because now I don't need such high level of safety, cautioness and all...but mind is still suspicious, mind still needs time and some gentle convincing that it's safe now, that I'm not as helpless now as I was before.That it's different now.All of if it is different but in a positive way.And my goal is to slowly readjust to this thought that I'm safe.That I don't need to fear for my safety anymore because it's only in my mind not an actual reality.So yeah.Lots on my mind lately but glad that changes are happening and that because of this I'll finally be able to live the life I want and need.:)
@Morfo66 You're doing awesome Morpho. I am happy you were able to enjoy your holiday. 
Keep strong, you are on a great path. When our perceptions seem skewed we must question them. We within ourselves know what is good and bad. When we find ourselves dwelling on negative things, we can know they seem wrong though we feel them. Keep up the great work, keep seeking your peace.
@Raveninthelabrynth
You always know how to make me smile!:D :) Thank you sooooooo much for all the kind, warm and encouraging words, means a world!^^ And Happy Christmas!:)
@Morfo66 Thanks for sharing! I think it's very brace of you to acknowledge this. Lately, I haven't been feeling safe either, even though I'm dealing with trauma from 3 years ago. Sometimes we have splurges where we feel certain ways. Hopefully we can focus on the positive! Hugs 
@rozie
Today is really tough. I'm tired of seeing people, I've decided I don't like people. People are mean and I don't wanna see or speak to people anymore...
@WaterLily16 *Offers Lilly some of her Blueberry Cordials and a smile.
@Raveninthelabrynth
My brother is back, I'm not safe here anymore. In the coming weeks I'll have to go back to my childhood home, face those rooms, and that garden, and all those places that remind me of so much i'd rather forget. I'll have to go through all my stuff, decide what has good memories (if any) and what has bad memories and chuck out what isn't worth keeping. I don't know how I'm gonna do that...
@WaterLily16 Hugs Lilly. I am sorry you must face your abuser and former places of woe. Know that you don't have to take abuse from anyone. If someone attempts to harm you, you have a voice to scream, teeth to bite, claws to scratch, and fists to hit. Let us pray it never comes to this but know that you are capable to fight back. In returning to your former home, do your best to keep grounded. Re enforce your perceptions with the knowledge of past vs present. Olde places of past suffering are wycked to face for many of us. Keep mindful that those bad times are in the past, and you live in a new reality. Nurture the past, but don't re-live it nor allow it to continue.
@Raveninthelabrynth
Thank you so much. I wish it was that simple. Yesterday I was grabbed and thrown into a pool and I kicked and screamed as much as I could, I fought so hard... But they swung me by my arms and legs and still threw me in, apparently my head missed the side of the pool by a couple of inches. I cried so much, I felt so weak... And nobody stopped them, most people just laughed cauz it was supposed to be a "joke". it wasnt a joke to me. It was really terrifying for me.
@rozie
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❤️
@melliotm Hi hon, hope alle is well for you today.
@rozie Hey Rozie, glad to have you back with us. I hope you enjoyed your Holy Day.
There I was, silently observing my peoples holiday Jol, when I was Ravennapped by a ruthless and skillful Christian operative (my fiancé). I was forced out into an extreme environment (winter), and taken to a Christian Stronghold (Grandma's House). There I witnessed many strange rituals. They began with a prayer to their God (I can respect that of any culture). Then they suspiciously shared their feast with me (a delicious ham). There was some exclusion (My Mann's brother tried to hide the deviled eggs from me). Then they moved me to another room. They tried to corrupt me with gifts. They gave me things I needed (new quad tires, a new shaft for my spear, chocolate blueberry cordials, and a bribe of money). How dare they try to pervert me! I feel alle funny, like the Blue Meanies from Yellow Submarine surrounded by musik and love. After a few hours I was released and taken back to my nest. I'm a bit in shock, and fairly confussed but I think I'm ok. I hope alle is well for everyone, and I am here to support anyone whom has experienced such an event.
(Had a wonderful time )
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hahahahahahaha. I am so jealous of you, and of all other adults who only have to/get to spend several hours with their families, before returning to their homes. I am here for quite a few days, it feels more like being a child, and.... I don't like it. I wish my family was different. I try to accept them as they are, but I don't like how they are. *Sighs.* And when I try to set boundaries and only come for the amount of time I want to come, I feel excluded and alone, because everyone else stays for so many days, and I don't have a partner or fiance or even a community of friends to come home to. It's just me, alone.
I am happy to hear how your holiday was - it really sounds quite lovely and I can imagine being there with you. I enjoyed reading your story
@singercrystalspirit Here we are your Other Home and Family, you can come home to us anytime you need or wish. No judgements, no exclussions. Glad to see you're back around, Welcome Home.
@Raveninthelabrynth
Thank you *Hug*
@Raveninthelabrynth
Hey Raven, thank you, its good to be back with the trauma fam. and so appreciate your being here with me today.
Love your description of your day and think it looks like a "snapshot" of how this day plays out for many. Being expected to join with a family... one that may have different rituals and traditions, or one where there has been so much hurt, or one that we no longer feel connected to.Playing "happy families' for this time. Or maybe we are on our own, and that may be peaceful, but also bring a sense of loneliness and disconnection. So not easy..
Know that returning to your nest will give you the opportunity to rest and recover. Think that's what we need.. our safe place and good aftercare. Hugs! x
@rozie I'm glad you enjoyed the Raven Saga of Jol 5th 2017.
My Pleasure Dear. 
@rozie
How is your day going? Whats helping you to get through this holiday season? What's been a highlight for you this year? How can we support you? Or pop in to say hi!
My day is going well. Weel I keep having faith... I sometimes feel like get idiea out of blue..like God helps. Idk. I want someone to listen to me,
@conscientiousPineapple1782 Hi Pineapple, I'm happy to hear you are having a good day. I am here if you wish to chat with me.
@rozie
Morning rozie
I woke up extremely depressed and I'm already crying. I'm blaming myself for coming back here to be with my family (Christmas isn't over for me yet), both at Christmas and for moving across the country where they are. I'm scared, I'm entering into panic mode and wanting to get myself to all the doctors and a therapist and spend all my money and all my time to ask all the people to help me and fix me and help me.
I feel rejected by nearly everyone, and I feel misunderstood and not connected with by everyone else. If there's anyone leftover who I did feel connected with last time I spoke with them, I'm scared to connect more for fear it might be too much and they leave me. Because that seems to happen.
Yes, I am overwhelmed.
Self: "It's OK to be where you are, and how you are."
I think part of why it's hard for me is that my family doesn't check in with me the way I need them to, to support me in my recovery. I don't think they know how, and I think they do their best. It's also difficult because being around them can and does trigger it. And I don't have another strong support network.. only my family and 7 cups as far as an actual network or community goes. I have friends but not a community of friends or a network of friends. I want one in person so badly but I think I need to accept that I don't have one yet and continue to use what I have?
I could just use friends and a hug and support. I want to cry still, and I think I am going to listen to myself - something's wrong, something's not right, and if I feel I want to go to the doctor (all the doctors) and a therapist (and both my coaches) I am going to go to every doctor, therapist, and coach I feel I want or might need to until I sort out what's going on. It's cruel to deny myself help and tell myself I don't want to need it. That's what I'm going to do to love myself.
@singercrystalspirit
Yes I understand how it gets to be overwhelming... its often so difficult with our families. .But in being aware of how you are being affected, you are able to pause, listen to yourself, as you are doing, and decide how.to meet your needs. Well done!
And you're right, support is so important, and my hope for you is that your support circle grows and you find that kindred spirit to walk alonside you. We;re here with you too... you can find a listening ear Hugs! x
@rozie Woooo!!! My holidays actually went better than I thought they would!! I think the two higlights of my year were my 21st birthday and winning two awards for my club at college (best club and best social event). In both those moments I felt surrounded by people who really cared about me.
@disneynerd23
Woohoo! so glad it went better than you thought it would. Congratulations on your 21st and well done with those two awards! But mostly lovely to hear that you were surrounded by people who care for you. x
Hey :0
Looking forward to the New Year :)
Christmas was awesome!! And my final Christmas is this coming Saturday! 😁
Today was notsomuch. Ive had a rash for a little over a week now, and I thought it was just an allergic reaction to something because thats what happened last time I was allergic to something. I asked a couple of the nurses at work about it today and they both said it looked like scabies. So I went to the ER after work and guess whos still up at 1am cuz I had to strip my bed, shower, apply a cream from head to toe that will paralyze and kill the lovely creatures whove made me their home, and now I have to reassemble my bed with the new stuff I bought while waiting for this stupid prescription cream to be filled. I dont think Ive ever been this itchy before. Just sayin. This kinda sucks. But hey, at least I got a ton of awesome stuff yesterday! 🙄🤦🏼♀️
@BeeLeigh
Glad you had an awesome Christmas!!
Oh what a performance to deal with the scabies, .they'r e pesky little things and very irritating... and hoping you'll soon be right again. X
@rozie
I hope so too cuz this kinda sucks 😕
