Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Wednesday 6th December 2017

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:)

I try to redirect my attention to something else. Sometimes it works and other times it does not.

Hi everyone,

This post really made me think of all of the ways I tried to do the same over the years. It is a great topic.

I am much older now, but will briefly share a couple of things from my younger days. Only because they honestly provided me with choices in the future.

When I was in the midst of chaos, I knew my way out was being independent. For me, that meant giving school my all. It kept me out of the house as much as possible and gave me a chance to dream of better days.

Once I was independent and able to begin therapy, I continued my education as a goal rather than coping mechanism. I also played tennis daily. Amazing how good tennis felt to release emotions, retain focus, maintain reasonable levels of energy and spend time just enjoying the game.

Today I use several things that are preventative but also help when life feels chaotic. I meditate, journal, have always been an avid reader, enjoy nature and a bit of solitude, play the piano and use photography to remind me of both the beauty and need for compassion in the world.

I love that you are taking control over your body and are doing so well, Honey. What a positive way to begin my day. 💛

😞 I'm a little scared 😞

Rewarding with raw honey! Complete a task you are trying to make a habit, give yourself a dab of honey!

Ive found Bikram Yoga has helped me learn to be more mindful and present. I use essential oils at bed and through the night with a diffuser to help with relaxation and migraines. I go for weekly massages and IMS treatments. I journal regularly and am educating myself as much as I can on the effects of trauma which I find empowering. Ive reconnected with my love of creating and have started repurposing old furniture pieces. Im reading regularly and slowly working through my home and purging as much of it as I possibly can. All of these things I find are healing in their own way.

@TheHoneyDoll

A very timely topic, HoneyDoll.

As a survivor of trauma and abuse, I tend to struggle with stuff that your everyday kinda person does. Like uhhh, beauty stuff, I guess. I grow out my hair and have for most of my life. Only recently am I learning how to take care of it and use stuff like hair spray. Live in a very humid house and a rainy climate, so it's kinda a must. Not to mention putting on my makeup properly or that kinda thing. It's really hard because I see these tutorials for makeup and they expect you to buy like $500 worth of "must-have" cosmetics or something. Completely frustrates me- not to mention some steps seem unnecessary to me. Just reminds me of how my mother who was quite lavish with makeup and such things was so into herself she couldn't teach me even the basics. That's only the tip of the iceberg with it... considering she was completely negligent and abusive. I cut her out nearly ten years ago. Worth it.

Anyway, for bringing comfort and some sense of control I do a lot of the stuff people have already mentioned. Writing those loopin' thoughts down to get them grounded. Yoga, when I can remember or not put it off XD. Meditation. Tea time. Fancy bath time with various things and lit candles. Trying to paint my nails- which I usually end up removing afterward. Playing with the kitties. And yes, SCENTS! I got a diffuser last year and some essential oils and have been experimenting with them. I also use incense every so often. Another thing is tapping into my spirituality and giving thanks. I have a little ritual I do where I send off the accumulated negative energy or what have you, and let it return to those that have created it. Basically, it returns the negative projections that people have done back to them to deal with. Like bullies, abusers, simply rude people, etc. I've learned that a lot of what I've dealt with are forms of these negative projections.

Besides that, things lately have been somewhat calm. I'm struggling with a chaotic situation that someone close to me has created. They've been terrible and throwing tantrums, passive-aggressive, disrespectful, manipulative. All because they want to buy a car and I think we should take our time and not grabby hands it out of desperation. Insert tongue-lashings/brow-beatings here. Thank whatever is Divine that I have therapy tomorrow. It's been tough trying to keep a cool head. Also to remember not to project my own empathy on them- because they are blinded by selfishness and refuse to listen to my side of it. It's like dealing with a spoiled, tumultuous teenager or something. I even brought up how I think we should have a mediator such as a marriage counselor and of course long-winded reason why not. Needless to say, I'm exhausted from it and they won't let up. I'm taking the initiative to do some self-care today. Gonna do yoga for stress and anxiety today and try not to overeat.

Hope the day is well for all of you.

Hello.

Today has not been a good day for me. I realized that I still have some healing to do. And I need to get some rest. So, I'm doing that now.