Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Wednesday October 3rd 2018

Hi Trauma Fam,

Yep you guessed it! We are going to look at another chunk of our boundaries topic!

Today we are going to look at Words and how we can create boundaries with them. Some of the things we need to have boundaries to protect us from are: control, bullying, pressure, demands, and needs of others.

Having someone try to control us, or us trying to control a situation or another person is unhealthy and can lead to abuse. In an ideal scenario each person should be able to define a way of being, or agree on a course of action that allows each person to be himself or herself. The key is not to do this at the expense of causing another person to be unable to be himself or herself. Words can be used to state what each persons boundaries are and then to negotiate a way to meet them in a way that suits each person involved.

There are a few things that might happen if we havent got this balance right for us:

- We might say yes to things but inside we can feel resentful towards the other person.
- We might be passively compliant.
- We might not know what is our need or the other persons need.
- We might be unable to say what we like or know who we are.
- We might get angry and push others away in frustration or because their closeness to us feels unsafe.

The simplest boundary setting word is NO

What are some other words we can use for boundaries?
Have you experienced not having the right balance?

Not ready for this topic today? That's ok, come and say Hi and have a doughnut