hi

@cryingskies777

I love how raw and real this is. I have felt this way many times.

To answer your question, the reason to keep going is to learn and grow from your trauma, process, grieve, release, heal, and help others in similar situations. The purpose of our pain is to use it. I know what it feels like to continue on for your child and some days are really, very, very difficult. Not going on sounds easier because it is, but you can't quit. The only way out is through.

I hope you're feeling better today. ❤️

I really can feel how you feel 🙏🏻 Sometimes I am hijacked by hopelessness too, but I always use all the power to do something that soothes me down, and I keep telling and telling myself that "Although it's extremely painful, the pain I feel is still temporary and it will subside" 🌿 I totally agree that most times we are easily blinded by current situations and they really look like ***, but there is still love in your heart that you love your son so much, and love can change everything ❤️

@cryingskies777

Hi,

I am sorry that you have trauma in your past and that you had to go through and endure what happened to you. You didn't deserve it.
Often when we go through trauma, our brain tries to protect us in any way it can. And when we feel like we're experiencing strong emotional distress, we can start to feel distant from our reality and the things that are happening around us. We lose interest in the things that gave us joy before and can even start to feel depressed.
Having trauma isn't easy, working through it takes time. But you deserve to feel better, you deserve to do what's best for yourself.

When we feel like we've lost hope and that nothing really matters, we've got something that is called a thought distortion. And it's understandable that we get one. We endured so much and we were broken down and made to feel like we didn't matter and that nothing we did didn't matter either.
But that too, as the trauma we endured, we didn't deserve to feel either.

What do you think you could do to help you feel like what you do and how you feel matters?
Would it help you to talk to someone or write down your feelings and what you're going through each day?
Sometimes it helps us in our way to healing to see where we come from and where we're going.

I understand how it feels when everything we do feels like a failiure and that no matter what we try to do, we fail. But what helped me was to tell myself that I am human, I am working on healing and I am learning. If I feel like I can't do anything right now, I will show myself kindness and understanding and give myself permission to try again when I feel ready.
Do you feel like you could do the same or something similar?

Sometimes living for others can help temporarily, but finding our own want to live is important.
Have you been able to talk to someone about what you're going through?

I'm glad to hear that you want to like life again, it's good that you want that.

What would help you do that?
Would taking up hobbies, meeting friends or experiencing new positive things help?

When we feel hopeless and as you mention, crippled, we can keep in mind that we are the ones who can better our lives and that sometimes we need help doing it and that's okay.

I'm glad that you spend time with your son and his laughter gives you spark of joy.

Doing things that give us joy are the things that are good to keep doing.

I felt like I needed to get to know myself again after my trauma, so I took the time to get to know myself again. I found out what new hobbies I would like to do and what music and movies I'd like and so forth.

Perhaps this might help, I hope things get better for you.

I wish you all the best in your journey of healing Skies <3