Emotional Abuse - Mother?

I think my mother has been emotionally abusing me for years.

It's my second year of college, and someone has just pointed out that she shows the signs and I have the symptoms of long term emotional abuse (low self-esteem, perfectionism, depression, anxeity, previous self-harm and anerexia). Now I know that this isn't all my fault. That maybe I've been manipulated and controlled my whole life. She's getting scared now that she's loosing control when I left for college. But isn't me leaving and becoming independent normal?

Now I don't know about the next step besides talking with my therapist. I want to take a break and probably will. But that means hearing all the "if you hate us so much, just cut us off for good, I've stopped crying over you". And that hurts because I still love them. I just need a good long break and lots of space.