Honors Project: Domestic Violence and Abuse Awareness
What is domestic violence?
Domestic abuse occurs whenever a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage attempts to control the other person through various methods in order to try and overpower the victim.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over the other person in the relationship. An abuser will use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear down the victim and keep them under him or her. The abuser may also threaten, hurt, or hurt those around the other person and could also isolate the victim.
Domestic violence and abuse are not restricted to certain genders, sexualities, ethnicities, wealth statuses, ages, or anything else. Domestic abuse and violence happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused, especially verbally and emotionally.
The facts
Around 24 people per minute are survivors of rape, physical violence, or stalking in the US daily. That adds up to be around 12 million men and women every year.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience severe physical violence from a partner at least once in their life.
Nearly half of all women and men in the US will experience psychological abuse at some point in their life.
People, on average, usually first experience partner violence between the ages of 11 and 17.
44% of lesbians, 61% of bisexual women, 35% of straight women, 50% of transgender people, and 26% of gay men will experience sexual assault at some point in their lives.
Nearly 3 women in the US are killed every day by an intimate partner.
And there is more. It is still a severe issue, especially since people try to hide it or feel they cant help or that it is none of their business.
Behavior of an abusive partner
Common behavior of an abuser is (but not limited to):
Humiliating and yelling at the other person
Criticizing and putting other person down
Ignore the other person
Blame the person for their behavior rather than themselves
Treat the person like property
Unpredictable and bad temper
Hurt or threaten the other person
Threaten to take the kids away from the other person
Threaten to commit suicide if the person leaves
Force sex
Destroy belongings
Acts jealous and possessive
Controls where the person goes or what they do
Isolates the person from friends and family
Limits access to phone, money, car, etc
Constantly checking on person
Stalking behavior
Gaslighting (An attempt at making the victim question their sanity and memory such as causing them to believe an event didn't really happen when it did.)
Threatening to out an LGBT partner to their friends, family, or coworkers
And more
The person does not need to just be physically or sexually abusive for it to still be abuse, and if the person has done it once, it will likely happen again. The victim should also not have to give up their rights to not be abused.
Signs someone you know might be being abused
Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
Go along with everything their partner says and does
Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they're doing
Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner
Talk about their partner's temper, jealousy, or possessiveness
Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of accidents
Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation
Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors)
Be restricted from seeing family and friends
Rarely go out in public without their partner
Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car
Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident
Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn)
Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal
short and long term effects the victim may develop
Includes (but not limited to):
The person could develop PTSD
Long lasting depression
Self esteem issues
Paranoia and anxiety of the person returning
Isolation
Suicidal thoughts or attempts
Pessimism towards the future
Trust and attachment issues
Loss of religion/spirituality
Academic or work performance decreases
Alcohol and/or drug abuse
Changes in eating and/or sleeping
Self blame
ETC
What to do if you or someone you know is being domestically abused
If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If youre hesitating, telling yourself that its none of your business, or that it will resolve itself, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.
Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that youre concerned. Point out the things youve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that youre there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that youll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that youll help in any way you can. Be open to listen.
Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet theyve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive situation and begin healing.
If you are being abused and you feel safe and ready to tell someone about your situation, people will be there to help you. You deserve respect, love, support, and freedom. It is not your fault that you are being abused. Normal people do not hurt or abuse people and you do not deserve to be a victim. It will be difficult and take time but people will be there to help you and support you and it could save your life and help reduce the severe effects in the end so you can begin living a better life again. There are several hotlines available that are trained to help.
If you are being stalked or harassed after there has been a break up/divorce, keep all evidence of any damage done, secure yourself, tell someone about the threat, and tell the police. Do not respond to the stalker or harasser after telling them to leave you alone (or the police may claim that you invited the person to keep harassing/stalking even if it isnt true) and get therapy if you need it during this tough time and can get it. Do what you can to ensure your safety mentally and physically.
If you are in immediate danger, please call 911 for emergency help. You are not alone.
Questions
Now lets test your knowledge!
What would you do if a friend of yours or someone you know says they are being abused in some way by a partner or youre worried they are?
What would you do if you were being domestically abused?
What is the difference between abuse and domestic abuse?
Anything else you would like to share? (experiences, tips, questions, etc! ^^)
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish: 1-800-992-2600
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078
References
https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/domestic-violence/effects-domestic-violence
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
www.thehotline.org
@TheHoneyDoll
Very helpful post, Thank you. 
@kindPoetry91
Thank you!
This post was super informative -- thanks for sharing! ^-^
@EnigmaticAru
Thank you so much!
@TheHoneyDoll a very well written honors project. Thank you for sharing this and I know it will help alot of people in our community :)
@philosophicalShip9444
Thank you! I'm hoping to do a guide for listeners next on how to best support someone who is or has been abused :)
@TheHoneyDoll brilliant:)
@TheHoneyDoll
Such an nformative piece and you did an amazing job! <3 Good job Honey Doll!
Just wonder how you got it up on the notification? :)
@adoredHug70
No clue ^^; Just managed to be featured maybe? Thank you for the support by the way! :) It means a lot to me!
@adoredHug70 You can contact wonderfulpumpkin71 regarding your honors project being put as an alert, hug c:
Finally! It's now posted! Thankies for this post, I think I would really need this for my future chats and for additional information and awareness. Proud of you, honey!
@Erato
Thank you bunches! <3 never expected it to be featured haha :') *shy*
I lost a friend to domestic violence she was a coworker. She left him plenty of times and always came back because he threaten to harm her family. The police wouldn't help her.
@selfconfidentTangerine1778
I'm so very sorry you had to go through that :( I hope you feel better now and that things are looking up. Remember we're here to help if you need it 
Could a adult sibling abuse be domestic violence as well?
@selfconfidentTangerine1778
Domestic violence is defined as being between two people in an intimate relationship such as dating or married ^^ with a sibling it would be family abuse
I had a sister in law who cry wolf and said she was physically emotionally sexually abuse to get a divorce free because my brother was having an affair with his mistress who was stalking us.
Sad isn't it
I think emotional/mental abuse is worse than physical b/c it lasts longer. Wounds heal. Psychological damage doesn't. I am in an emotional/mentally abusive marraige. I am the people pleaser type, so I am attracted to the alcoholics/drug addicts/felons. I think I can help and fix everyone. My husband is an alcoholic and I met him 6 years ago, but I didn't know he was a possessive, controlling, mentally abusive person. I figured it out why some people turn this way. He is very insecure with himself, but I cannot handle his ridicule b/c it takes me back to my childhood. My mother always criticized me day in and day out. And he asks why I am emotionless? We both need help. An abusive person doesn't mean to be that way, it always comes from a source in their childhood.
@TransAm85
I've been there before. It's extremely hard to go through and to accept that we cant help everyone out there.
I'd also just like to say that no abuse is worse than another. Physical abuse can be just as scarring. Abuse is abuse and none of it is okay and they all are very important and serious :)
@TheHoneyDoll ofcourse abuse lasts longer
@TransAm8 I am literally going through the same thing, mother issue as well. I love him with all of my heart, I just want him to stop but I don't know how to get him to and its destroying me.
@TransAm85 you literally described my last 10 years. I understand. Have you tried sitting him down like an adult.