I can't tell what I'm experiencing...
So I'm my childhood my dad was always arguing and my parents were constantly yelling at each other very often. I think my dad hit me once as far as I remember. The thing is whenever I'm in class or doing something work related sometimes I'll start imagining scenarios of my dad arguing with me soon or hurting me for no reason. I experienced this so much more when I was a child but I experience it from time to time today. Sometimes it's my dad hurting me or sometimes it's me just imagining my friends hurting me or having intrusive thoughts of my friends hurting me because I deserve it. Also every time I'm talking to a new person I'm considering to go out with I can't help but start seeing scenarios of him hurting me physically. I don't know why I have these thoughts and weird scenarios but usually when this happens I feel like I'm somewhere else.. I don't know
@Alwayshungry983
It sounds like growing up was really scary for you. I'm a survivor of child abuse and I imagine your intrusive thoughts are echos of what happened to you.
I'm sad that you have to deal with this, but I promise you things will get better for you. If you dont have one already, please connect yourself with a psychotherapist or even a support group.
Also to deal with your intrusive thoughts, I highly suggest using grounding techniques or distraction. Here is a link with more info https://www.healthline.com/health/dbt
I would check out 7cups Trauma Support https://www.7cups.com/home/trauma/
Remember you are not alone and please take good care.
Best,
MAUS
@DangerMaus thank you so much. I appreciate it