I fight tears everyday and I'm about to break
It's been a month since my husband was arrested for trying to kill me and kidnap our son. I've cried once but haven't since that day. It's too upsetting for my son who's not 2 yet.
It's horrible to admit but I miss having a partner. I don't miss him but I miss having someone. I'm so alone and afraid all the time. Afraid he'll find me. Afraid he'll kidnap my son. Afraid he'll kill me and kidnap my son.
I'm stressed about money and raising my son on just my income and also having to fight him in family court. He's pleading not guilty so there will also be a trial.
I'm so done. I can't handle the loneliness, sadness, fear, stress all while raising my sweet baby boy.
How could he do this to me. I guess I don't deserve a happily ever after. I don't know why. It hurts so much.
@discreetFig4569 My heart breaks for you tonight...... May will be the 1 year anniversary of the last time my fiance tried to kill me. I have a little boy hes 5 in just a few days.
Domesetic violence sucks.... absolutely [insert your favorite string of explatives here] SUCKS. Don't ever feel horrible to say you miss him though. It's part of the pattern. There is a cyclic pattern to domestic abuse, it is a trap that pulls you back in. And I'll be the first to admit I still whole-heartedly love my abuser. He's in prison now. I had to testify against him. I had to make statements at the sentencing. I've been in custody court, and I'll go back to custody court every time he makes a baby step forward. His progress feels like it will always cause me suffering but him not getting help will put me in danger.
Like I said, its such a cycle of highs and lows. I know some days I feel brave, and others I feel defeated and broken.... It hurts. There are days when I'm done. The pitty looks in a small town are poison to the soul. Stay strong. you do deserve a happily ever after because you're still here.
