My Abusers and Me

I was 13 when I was abused by the two women who I "baby sat" for at the time I believed it was my fault and I had no one to go to about it. My dad worked late into the night at a job he was losing. My mom in a hostpital for the majority of the time and now I can't trust. It's so bad I overthink situations and am always suspicious of others true intentions. No one knows I cut, no one knows I am anorexic and the hard part is the wall that I built with the help of those two women I built it unaware of how hard it will be to get through it. I cry every day trying to take it down but I fail my fear stops me and I hate it. I'm always frightened of others and my fear is unreasonable but despite the fact that I know this I still struggle to get over it.