Struggling to have a sexual relationship
I don’t know if we’re allowed to talk about this on here. I’m new and can’t find my way around. But whenever my fiancé sends me dirty videos (we’re online rn), I feel extremely weird after I orgasm. And I want to be alone for awhile and I become cold. I don’t know why? When I was a kid, I was forced to have sex with this girl multiple times and I don’t know if that has something to do with it or if this is normal. But I am unsure how to cope really because I love my fiancé and sex is an issue. Does anyone relate? Or does it sound weird?
It's not weird mate. You had a messed up sexual experience when you were a kid and it's affecting you now as an adult. I can relate.
While you can't change the past you can change the now. Im no sex expert but I learned that open communication with my intimate partner helped us figure out what we each liked and didn't like, and why. It was hella hard but our sex life got better.
Have you shared this experience and your current feeling or thoughts with your fiancee? Does she know why you act cold or need space after sex? Knowing the reason why you do this might help her respond to you with compassion, kindness and patience. Then maybe together you can navigate this to find a solution that works for you both.
Hope you find a solution that works for you both