There's always an alternative to violence and abuse.
Heya.
I want you all to know that there is no excuse for abuse.
I've only just started to see this and accept.
Although it happens, not very often are people hurt out of the blue whilst having a lovely, calm conversation.
Often it can stem from something small, a simple argument. Maybe you said something, maybe they said something.
But even if you have said something ubkind, or in the heat of the moment, or made a mistake that's made them angry, there's always an alternative to violence. It is not your fault.
It's so easy to blame yourself and not be able to see anything else. Often this is part of it, they want you to believe it's your fault. It's not, okay?
You all deserve to be loved and treated with respect. By everyone.
You are strong and will overcome this. Remember your values.
And spread the message! There's no excuse for violence. There's always an alternative.
Stay safe everyone.
@SparklingSeashells
Thank you for this message. I needed to hear it. I still blame myself for the abuse, like I should have prevented it and know better.
@Rylana
Heya, I know the feeling. But think about it carefully....Even if you were the most perfect human being (there is no such thing), would they have still abused you? Yes. That's what abuse is like. That feeling you can't do anything right.
Just me rambling on but it's not your fault. Never. Ever.
@SparklingSeashells
Thx for this post. I needed a reminder. Your right it's never ok to be abused ever. My abuse made me feel wrong, stupid, ugly, defective. All my sibs have this same feeling. I had such a scary childhood I actually remember being under 2 in my high chair and crying about my mom holding my baby brother, I was jealous. A normal reaction of course but not in that house I was 17-18 months old. I was 16 months when my brother was born. I don't know anyone who's had a memory this young. But mine was so traumatic I remember it. I lived in fear my entire existence, that abuse continued through my childhood and shaped my life and my choices. It makes me so sad ....I feel like I'll never get out from under all the trauma I've endured. And there's a laundry list of it. Being terrorized as a child sets you up for so many other bad people to victimize you. I was an easy target because I was paralyzed with the freeze response in so many situations. I feel so messed up, I'm in therapy but I think it will take decades to fix me. It's very isolating ....
Thx again for posting
ABB 💜
Hey,
Glad that it helped to have this reminder ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear all that you've been through, but look how far you have come!!
It has so many effects that a lot of people don't see. They see it as just the hurt, but it's so much more.
It shapes lives. But I hope you will be able to use it to your power, use your trauma to make your values so it never happens again, and to set boundaries. That's my goal, being only 16 😛
I can agree it feels we are made a target and more vunersble, but maybe with time, it can make you stronger. But you are strong to have come this far. To be here talking about it.
Hope it feels less isolating to be here ❤️
@amiableBlackberry92
(Forgot to tag you)
@SparklingSeashells Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
