Trying to let go of my abuser.
I've dated this guy on and off for about 6 years. And I can't seem to let him go. I feel worthless without him and he has this weird power over me. He is 10 years older than me. I have constant anxiety, I try to sleep all the time to not have to deal with life. He has hit me, spit on me, choked me to the point of blackout , on a daily basis calls me fat and worthless knowing that I suffered an eating disorder as a teenager. And tells me all the time how he's gonna be with other girls.. If I call him,any names back he threatens me and says I'm the one that needs professional help because I'm the one ruining the relationship because I want to kill myself all the time and I'm crazy. I can't get away from him and I know part of it is me cause I'm scared to let go. I don't know what to do anymore I hate life and hate feeling scared all the time. I'm snappy with people at work and find myself getting offended by everything... And I hate that part of me loves him I want to be normal again.
@Rikka89 really brave of you to tell your story.
You seem to know what the right thing to do is, what would be best for you. But you're having a hard time taking that step. That's OK.
Keep talking to people here, and find the support you need. It's OK to feel scared...but maybe you're ready to start thinking about a change for yourself.
I am sorry that you are gong through this.
You have done well to reach out.
I understtand
Yes, its brave, and shows you want to seek help for yourself. If you dont let go soon, he will, either by actually chocking you to death, or leaving you to do the same thing to another girl. If he does this you need to disl 911
