Why is escaping so hard?

@Mre605

Hi !

Safety first ! You can find safety plan checklists for your escape HERE and HERE.

I understand your feeling of being overwhelmed. You know you have to leave this abusive relationship, but such a drastic change in your life, after all the time, effort, and emotional investment that you have put into the relationship, might be very daunting. This feeling is absolutely normal.

Apply the rule "Feel the fear and do it anyway". True courage is moving forward, doing what you have to do, despite having fear.

Regarding your friends, I understand your impulse to block them in this situation. But you will need all the emotional support you can get, so try to keep the strongest connections possible with them.

About your family, I suppose they are very conservative if you anticipate that they will react so negatively to your separation from your abusive partner.

If this is the case, tell them that God surely doesn't want you to stay in a relationship that is hurting you so much. A real sacred marriage is based on mutual love and respect.

Your abusive partner has broken his vows to love and care for you. His abuse has already broken the marriage.

God wants you to be healthy, secure and happy, not abused. You don't deserve to be mistreated but treated well.

It must be a difficult decision to leave and report someone that you once loved and with whom you built a life together for some time.

But the fact is that he won't stop abusing you if you stay. You have to assume this sad loss, and move on.

After you leave him, and normalize your situation, (which might take some time) you will have the opportunity to build the life that you deserve: safe, calm, and happy.

I hope everything goes well.

Please let us know how you are feeling, if your plan is progressing well, and if you are safe.

I wish you the best of lucks in this difficult situation !

Keep in touch !

Marcelo.

You can do it and when you are on the other side of this you'll be so happy you did. I'm 1 yr out and life is so much better away from him. God is faithful. He will help you - more than help you. He will carry you and open doors for you. Cling to your faith.

I know this was from 2 months ago, but I really really hope that you got out. From someone who has watched their mom suffer being in an emotionally and physically absive relationship for the past 6 years and finally get the divorce papers filed this month, please, please leave him. My step dad still threatened us after she moved out but after my mom called the cops on him one night and got him put in jail, she showed she was serious and he's stopped harassing us.

This is the hardest part. Dealing with deciding to risk everything and leave or remember the good times and stay. You'll have many times were there's ringing in your ears and your fists are balled because your working up the courage to make the first move to leave, but you can't. There's anxiety in the idea of what comes next, who will help you, and not wanting to burden anyone for help. But trust me, there are so many people who want to help. Even the ones that don't seem like they do. They're just so pained by the revolving door you've kept them on for so long, but they are waiting for you to be ready so they can help. You can't live your life for anyone. I truely hope that you were ready to leave and made it happen.