terrible remorse and compassion for abuser.

@pmtrip - It's so hard when despite all the pain someone causes, you still care for them, but it's okay. Your feelings are valid, even when you can't fully understand them. What's important is recognizing that you do deserve to be safe and out of harm, no matter how you feel about the abuser.

@pmtrip I can relate a lot. I also care about and feel a lot of compassion for my abusers. There are many different ways to heal and some people say you should forgive them, or that hating them creates self-empowerment. But in the end you have to follow what feels right for you. You can care and feel compassion for people which also recognizing that what they did was terribly wrong, and choose to have no contact with them. Ultimately what you need most is to be able to feel safe. Cutting off contact, or at least seriously limiting your contact, with people who previously abused you is important in creating the distance you need in order to start to heal. However you feel about them doesn't really matter as much as how you feel about yourself and the way you are handling the situation. If you are acting in line with your values, while staying safe and keeping strick boundaries, I think that can be a totally valid that to recovery. It's certainly not for everyone though.