Letting go of ex covert narcissistic best friend
From late 2005-early 2014, I became close with another woman who was 8 years older than me. Long story short, we met at an autism support group for adults. During our friendship, she abused me emotionally from start to finish through
1. Control
2. Manipulation
3. Guilt tripping
4. Triangulation
5. Criticism
6. Possesion
While there was not an idealization or love bombing, there was lots of devaluation, which happened gradually. (I was the frog in boiling water) During this phase, she learned that I am a truth teller who often saw through her and called her out. So she not only disgarded me but devalued me evern more. Additionally, she admitted to only latching onto me out of loneliness and basically admitted to catfishing me emotionally about who she really was.
While it's been many years since the disgard and current devaluation, I feel lots of anger and hurt. Additionally, I am trying to let her go but I still feel haunted by the trauma and abuse. Does anyone else still experience this?
@Summershy
I'm sorry you had to go through all of this.
I'm glad you recognised it and are out of it now.
Friends should up build.
Uplift.
Respect.
Make us feel wanted and cherished 💕
I hope you continue to heal 💜
@Amanda84
Thanks for your support. I am working on letting her go while working through the attached emotions. I am also finding that it's super helpful to pinpoint her toxic patterns and behaviors.
Still, I am working on letting her go by not talking about her and what happened in the past. All the while, being thankful that she is stonewalling me. As silly as it seems, it means that I am having space to heal, have peace, and be myself. I am also having to make a tough decision to forgive her and that journey is not easy.
@Summershy
It's not silly at all. It's completely valid 💖
@Amanda84
Thanks so much for supporting me because she tried to chip away at my confidence. This was by saying and doing things to make me feel bad or guilty. I am gratful that I am not exposed to that level of toxicity anymore.
EG- During the last time I had arranged to see her in person, was one year after the started the disgard phase. She also managed to turn up the nob the devaluation to full blast. Believe me, she was mean.
@Summershy
Also, the 8 years older was a typo. I meant to say she is 11 years older