Personal problems & retrospective

I'm new here, so I'm sorry if this isn't appropriate or something like that. But, anyhow, I needed to vent.

I have really bad attachment issues, specifically to my boyfriend. We're in a bad argument right now, and I don't know if our relationship will survive through it. I've been sick all morning because of how attached I am to him. Losing him feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen to me.

I began looking into something called glass child syndrome, which is where the sibling of a sick or chronically ill child is neglected and given adult responsibilities to support their sibling.

I don't know if I have glass child syndrome. My brother wasn't ever sick per say, but he needed special care due to his autism. I grew up severely neglected because of my mother's attachment to him, and she would let him fight and hit me when he wanted because I would fight back. She thought it was just us regulating, I guess.

Looking into the symptoms of glass child syndrome, it mentioned the affected taking on a caretaker role and hiding their own emotions or feelings about things as to not cause stress. I guess that speaks to me, because that's what me and my partner are arguing about. My inability to open up and tell him when I am struggling.

I really hope our relationship can survive. But I said a bunch of hurtful things that I can't take back, and I'm worried he's going to fall in love with another person and leave me forever. It's a painful feeling. I guess I'd like some reassurance about it, even if it ends up not going well.