Reflecting and reaching out
Today I feel...
What do I feel? A little numbed out I guess.
I was reading people's posts about childhood emotional neglect, feeling heartbroken for them, also sad and relieved that I wasn't alone in such experiences. I kept feeling a little less alone in it, which felt good for a time, but I was relating with people's stories on a screen, not connecting with the people themselves. It's that disconnect that leaves me with a pain that's hard to explain. I thought I'd reflect here on 7cups about it, and reach out to the people who I think would understand most.
There's also that tension between wanting to reach out and wanting to stay safe. Remembering now that the people who were supposed to be safe actually hurt us deeper than the people we were warned about.
@LifeIsMyCanvas and @mytwistedsoul I'm tagging you because I think you might get it.
@WriteToHeal42
I'm genuinely sorry that you were hurt by the people who should have kept you safe 💙
@Amanda84 thank you *hugs*
@WriteToHeal42 Hey Write, this is so relatable. It is a pain that's hard to explain, you're absolutely right. With reading things online there's this validation and a feeling of relief of finding other people who understand and knowing that you're not alone. But it can also trigger a sense of isolation because there's this longing to feel safe and connected with actual people. We crave connection because we want to be seen and heard but we also fear it because brain remembers that trust led to pain.
Hey @mytwistedsoul, exactly 💯
Sharing through writing is always my first step in opening up.
@WriteToHeal42 💜 We're always here for you, no judgement or pressure.
can we do something about it to change it :(
can we do something about it to change it :(
@WriteToHeal42
I do get it, and you are right. There is a difference between identfying with someone's story and connecting to them. But I see you identifying with the person and having a genuine empathetic emotional understanding of their situation. Someone once told me that empathy requires connection from inside you to inside them. However if you are observing there is no way to express that connection too them. So perhaps that is the real souce of feeling disconnected? The wanting to reach out but needing certainty of safety to find the connection you desire?
Those who love and care for you will not make your need for connection about power over you. I'm sorry that those who should have cared for you, hurt you. When you find genuine love and connection, the other person will be happy to let you have control over your own needs and necogiate how mutual needs can be met between you.
I hope this helped.
Canvas 💜
Thanks @LifeIsMyCanvas
I think you hit the nail on the head there, identifying with, but not being able to communicate it and connect in that way.
Reaching out to you and @mytwistedsoul was how I ended up trying to connect.
Thank you both for being so supportive and non-judgemental.
I ended up texting a friend tonight about some of how I was feeling about life, and he got some of it.
@WriteToHeal42
I'm so glad it helped and that your friend understood a bit. Sometimes it takes a while of opening up for people to understand us more. You are always welcome to reach out to us here or in group. You guys are brave 💜
