What's disassociation look/feel like for you?
Hi! I struggle heavily with dissociation, and have for a very long time. It look me a very long time to discover what it was, and what was going on. Thankfully it's gotten a bit better now, but it can be fairly stressful at times. For me personally some of the things I experience are feeling like I'm in a video game, my surroundings become distorted in a way that's hard to describe, I tend to become fairly anxious, I'm on complete autopilot, and sometimes I start to see everything in 3rd person. What's dissociation like for you guys?❤
@bubblewumble
Hello, bubblewumble, I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with dissociation, and you're not alone in your troubles. Dissociation is often not talked about and not well-known, and if it is, people often do not understand what it feels like to dissociate pathologically. I'm glad to hear that you have been getting better, and of course, it can be stressful; the healing process, changing these parts of ourself to be more healthier takes a lot of time and work.
I'm curious to hear more about your video game analogy--when you dissociate, is it sort of like observing someone playing you as a character (and you don't know who is playing you)? I know you said that it feels like seeing yourself in third person, but I would love for you to clarify more and hear your perspective, if you feel comfortable sharing it.
I also grapple with dissociation due to being a victim of rape, and for me, it feels like a blip in time lost. I will be sitting there, and I blink and four hours have passed; it's incredibly scary and like waking up out of a haze of some sort. And for the times that I do remember, everything seems hazy, and it feels like someone else is controlling me as I am walking around or I am not me. ❤