A Forgotten Trauma (possible trigger to some)
I had a flashback of a trauma I thought I had already forgotten. As it happened during the Trauma Support Group Chat, I'd like to share about it in a post.
I was in Scouting, I remember that in one of our camping trips, the other Scouters played a prank on me. I wasn't feeling well one evening, so I had went back into my tent to rest early in the night. Then, as I was about the fall asleep, I felt a hand going down my shirt on my back. Slowly brushing my back up and down. I was freaking out, and stayed still. I could hear the girls holding in their laughter, and after what seemed like forever, they finally stopped and left.
I haven't considered this as a Trauma, and I thought I had already long forgotten about it. As it happened when I was still in high school, that was like more than 20 years ago! But when someone mentioned something in the Group Chat, and it caused a sudden flashback, my body reacted to the trigger. My hands and body began to tremble and my heart felt heavy. Luckily, there were some really nice people in the chat, that quickly advised how I could calm myself down, and I was able to feel calmer after 10-15 minutes.
It's not pretty when being reminded of a Trauma I thought I had already forgotten. I didn't know that it was still in my memory. It was an incident that happened and passed by quickly. The trigger reminded me of the feelings I had during that incident, and everything seemed to flash before me like it happened yesterday. I guess that is why triggers and flashbacks can be so scary and that is why our bodies tend to react to them.
As I mentioned during the Group Chat, I was more sensitive because I've been feeling nervous about a doctor's appointment coming up in a couple of days. An appointment that may lead to the need for a procedure/operation at my Hospital in the near future. The anxiety has been causing me lose sleep the past week already. So, things that don't usually trigger me and remind me of past traumas, I became more sensitive this afternoon during the Chat. Thank you to all who were of great support!~
@Jaeteuk I'm so sorry to hear that you experienced such a distressing flashback during the Trauma Support group chat. Flashbacks can be incredibly challenging and bring back intense emotions from past traumas. It's understandable that you didn't consider this incident from your scouting days as a trauma until now, as sometimes memories can resurface unexpectedly.
It's comforting to know that there were kind and supportive people in the chat who helped you during that difficult moment. It's essential to have a supportive community during times like these.
I also understand how anxiety about the upcoming doctor's appointment could have made you more sensitive to triggers and past traumas. Stress and anxiety can heighten our emotional responses, and it's completely natural to feel that way.
Remember, healing from trauma takes time, and it's okay to experience setbacks along the way. Be gentle with yourself and take things one step at a time. If you ever need someone to talk to or seek support, don't hesitate to reach out. You're not alone, and we're here for you. I hope things start to feel better soon. Take care ❤️
Thank you, Mya. The unexpected trigger caught me off guard a bit. I'm so glad it happened during chat though, otherwise, I probably would start dwelling on it otherwise and it would've affected me for a longer period of time.