Cptsd + autism

I grew up in a toxic family. I am autistic so all the from the fights, humiliations, aggressions, punishments and neglect were even more harmful.

I am diagnosed with cptsd. I struggle finding lovely friends who empathize with my situation. They say they are too busy to talk or reply, but then I see them on ***.

I am tired lately. I live alone and I have no family or friends to give me kind words or to ask me how I am.

I'm been fighting this for 10 years, EMDR, therapy, events of mindfulness or meditation. But all I really want is love, kindness and someone who tells me kind words.

I've improved, but not enough. I suffer everyday. I am alone and my entire existence has been suffering and loneliness.

I wasn't loved or supported by my family, why would a friend would give me support?