Exhausted
How do you keep going? I’ve been doing a mood chart and realizing how miserable things have been. I’ve had so much pain for so long. I can’t remember what it’s like to feel alive.
@goldenCherry425
I am sorry to hear that you have been going through it for a hot minute now. I think it is important to take time to do enjoyable things as much as possible and to surround yourself with positive people. It is true what they say about how moods are contagious. Any idea what has been keeping your mood so low?
I’m trying to do that. I don’t enjoy the things I used to enjoy anymore. It’s hard to keep people around.
@goldenCherry425
I get that, when the depression gets really bad, it's hard to find enjoyment in things. I am sorry that you're not able to keep people around, I know that can feed into the loneliness. Have you gotten any professional support in the past?
Yes, I am getting help now. It really sucks. My head just spins.
@goldenCherry425
Understandable. I am glad you're getting help. What have they suggested so far?
A few things and I’m trying but I already do some of it and I struggle regardless. I might need to change meds but typically, I like what I’m on so I don’t want to. It’s the situation I’m in causing me to feel this way.
@goldenCherry425
I understand not wanting to change the meds, if it is the situation. What is the situation and what can you do to make it better?
Situation is trauma from SA. I just feel like dead inside and something is dragging me through the day. Like i’m just a body.
I workout, a lot. I don’t like yoga but i’m trying to do it on my own. I skate and I write poetry. I spend time calming myself. I have a job that gives me purpose. Idk what else I could do. I still feel like this.
@goldenCherry425
Ah I see, that kind of situation. I am sorry to hear about the trauma. I can understand how you feel like an empty shell after it.
It sounds like you are trying all the activities that you can, sometimes it takes time, you just have to keep at it.
Did you tell your therapist about the SA? Sounds like you need to process it.
Yeah, I told her but there’s a lot to it. What do people mean when they say process it? Like how do you do that?
@goldenCherry425
I understand that there's a lot to it. By process it, it means to really deal with it, discuss it with the therapist, how it made you feel then, how it makes you feel now, what you feel that you lost, etc. Deal with any shame, if any, that happened due to it. It means touching the topic head-on rather than running from it with distractions. Are you still around the person who did the SA to you?
@goldenCherry425
I'm not ready for the alternative, not by a long shot, so I keep going. Gratitude journalling has made a difference.
