Family, Marriage, and the Fear of Becoming My Mother
Mumma, you gave me life, but you also made sure you had the power to take it away. I may not have been the perfect daughter, but when you told me you wished I wasn’t your only child, it stuck with me. You also told me you were happy to have a daughter, but for what? Just to make me question myself and struggle in my marriage?
You've lived your life and have the experience of a thirty-year marriage, but do you care if I'm truly happy, or do you find comfort in seeing me struggle?
I can't deny that a part of me hates you, but at the same time, I hate myself even more for wishing you could help me with my marriage issues when, in reality, you’re the one who contributed to one of the problems in it.
After being your daughter, I’m scared to have children. I worry that I’ll be just like you as a mother. What if all my feelings are wrong? What if I repeat the same mistakes?
But despite all of this, I still love you. You’re my only best friend, and I miss you.
Today, during an argument with my husband, he said, ‘This is the problem, this is how your family acts.’ I guess it’s in your DNA. It left me feeling confused, and even more alone.
I don’t know if you ever really cared about me or if you only said you did. Sometimes, it feels like you never really loved me at all.
@Abitlonely
Hey, I'm sorry that you're struggling in your life and relationship cause of your mom. I just want to let you know that you're not alone and that we're here to support you. If you ever feel like opening about it, feel free to reach out to me 💛
And please don't let your experience with your mom doubt yourself. I genuinely believe you'll be a great mom, especially since you already know the kind of love and environment you want to give your baby. The only thing your baby will care about is the effort and intention you bring to make their life better and I believe in you.
I really hope your relationship with your mom and partner be better soon and you get all the happiness you deserve 😊
@Abitlonely i do understand your feelings. But don't let someone's mistake disappoint you.
@Abitlonely it's good to keep always looking for the right things to do even after making mistakes😄