Hi, I'm new here and I'm desperate to feel better.
TW !!!
My English is not that good so I'm translating some things.
I am 17 years old, I have not had the opportunity to see a psychologist yet, but I would like to. When I was 11 years old I met a man of (supposedly) 21, with whom I had a romance in which I pretended to have 17 years old for like a month, then I told this guy I was actually 11, and he had no reaction.
We continued dating for a year or more. During that time I sent him THOSE kinds of pictures many times. and he also sent me photos. I felt loved, He told me he loved me, asked me for photos, and had a lot of fantasies about me, and I thought that was love, but clearly it wasn't. He often told me things like he wanted to kidnap me "as a joke", that he liked the fact that I was a minor, and that he wanted to get me pregnant (when I was 12 years old).
It took me years to stop talking to him, because I really loved him and I became very dependent on him. But I did it, and I developed a kind of hypersexuality (which I am very ashamed of) and very low self-esteem. I remember being 14 and looking in the mirror and feeling like nothing more than a sex object, and it hurt so bad. Nowadays I don't sexualize myself as much every day, but I still have very low self-esteem, and I still have problems with my hypersexuality.
Anyway, thanks for reading this, I promise I'll try really hard to go to a psychologist, but right now I needed to get all that out.
You've come so far in life, you did not deserve to feel that way, I'm 16 turning 17 this year in August, I'm so proud that you're doing your best to do better ❤
Thank you so much 💗
I really appreciate those words!! I hope everything goes well for youu.
Thank you ❤
But things are not going good right now, but thank you for wishing things to go good for me, you are very kind ❤
@sssofu
The best thing you could remind yourself...or try to because I know it is difficult...you have control. You are the one that has the power to say yes or no.
Being very young and possibly seeing the home situation you were possibly in or just seeing you and being able to talk so easily to you...evil people know who to attack. It sucks because you are left with the this horrible aftermath and blame yourself and at times they are never in trouble for what they did. Manipulation is key on their part, but in the end you saw it was wrong and you took back your power.
I'm very proud of you. You are very strong and it's very hard to do that. It's going to be a long journey and a psychologist might not be the best choice either. An outside support group can also help. Sharing the weight as you did now so you are not alone. So know I will carry some of that for you. I hope the best for you and i know you will be okay.
