How does one separate themselves from their abusers
I spoke to my school counselor earlier, and she brought up boundaries. The very idea of boundaries, well its very foreign to me, surreal ***. The counselor said you form boundaries, based on your beliefs
And therein lies the problem. I have no clue where my beliefs and ideologies begin, and my fathers end. I've been living their life for the past 18 years, I dont know how to stop, how to separate myself from them and make my own person. Not another mask, another character, a real person.
So *** what im askin, how do u separate yourself from that, and form your own thoughts and beliefs? Because I really wanna live life on my own terms
@TwoFacedTim
That is a good question that many of us have and still struggle with. Finding and being able to separate our identity from who other people think we should be is a real task. I had that problem, too, at one time. How I finally managed to find the person that I wanted to be was first to determine what I wanted others to see in me and not what they imposed on me. We must begin to search our minds to determine what we want, and then, we can begin to teach others how to respect who we are by setting up Boundaries and being able to implement a penalty when someone breaches them
Here is a list of things to get you started.. How do I find my values and beliefs?
- Write down your values. Review the list of examples of core values above and write down every value that resonates with you. ...
- Consider the people you most admire. ...
- Consider your experiences. ...
- Categorize values into related groups. ...
- Identify the central theme. ...
- Choose your top core values.