How do you cope with the fact that it happened?
I wish that this event just never happened. I don't know why but my brain is in such a denial mode right now. It feels very tough to accept. But I want to feel better and living in denial won't make me feel better. It's gonna be a lot of work and I'm not sure I'm ready to do it yet.
@Vector5 Hey again. ♡ I just wanted to let you know I believe there's nothing you can't overcome. I believe in you, Vector5. Your brain being in denial is just its way of protecting you from whatever happened. After all, they say denial is a defense mechanism. I'm sorry for whatever trauma or hurt you have gone through. It seems you know that living in denial won't help you. Perhaps you know what needs to be done and you're just scared of taking the first step. But remember, you can do it. You can overcome. Also, remember do things on your own accord and within your own time when you are ready. It takes time to heal on this journey and it's your journey. I hope once your brain and you are ready to take the step that you do. ♡ Best of luck to you!
@YourCaringConfidant
You actually perfectly described it!
I now am aware of the situation. I even know what steps to take but it's terrifying. It's like I want to put my head back in the sand but now that I'm finally aware I just can't do it.
Also it's been pretty tough for me because bad things kept happening back to back to me.
I have no supportive family, no friends, live alone, my work situation is complicated and I mostly work from home so I am extremely isolated. I go to bars to feel less lonely but it barely helps. This summer I got retraumatized. I barely started to feel better and now new upstairs neighbors moved in and they are making my life horrible. They have 2 kids that scream and shout all the time. I am already very dysregulated and it is making me feel constantly on edge.
I am afraid I am about to lose it.
So many things have been piling up.
I am so distressed that I am desperately trying to make sense out of all these misfortunes happening to me. Not being able to pinpoint a reason for my struggles makes me even more desperate.
I just wish I knew WHY am I going through all of this. Does god hate me? Is he even real? Is all that just random and I have a terrible luck?
Gosh, I am so lost and I have so many unanswered questions.
How much I wish I had a supportive family. It could have changed my world.
I wouldn't even had cptsd and depression if I had a normal loving family.
@Vector5 I'm so sorry. Have you ever heard people say "struggles build character"? I have and it's something I believe has truth to. What you may consider misfortunes on your end could end up being the very thing to help you be more resilient as a person. ♡ Resilience is a good thing. Remember you can overcome! Just keep taking it one day at a time. In life, we can't always control the situation. Some things happen beyond our control and sometimes bad things happen, but it's not our fault. I'm happy you have a job you can do from home. As someone who suffers from anxiety, that sounds dreamy. Yes, I'm aware it may not be because of the kids and hearing all the noises. As someone with 2 kids myself, I know how loud they can be. 😆 Hang in there, Vector5. I'm hoping things get better for you. I'm so sorry to hear that you don't have the best support system. That's got to be tough... but guess what else is tough? You are!!! ♡
