I don’t know where to go from here
TW: s*xual ab*se
I accidentally came forward last year about my cousin SAing me when we were 16 years old up until i was about 21 years old. It was around this time last year, and i think I’m getting anxiety from the memories and feelings that are being brought up. I feel so alone and I honestly don’t know how to move forward. I feel like I’m stuck in this depressive cycle that doesn’t seem to ever cease. I’m constantly afraid that she is going to show back up and hurt me or my family like she always promised would happen if I ever told anyone. I just want to feel safe, but I’ve never known what that feels like. I feel like I’ve let my family down and put them in danger.
I honestly just don’t know what to do. I’ve been in therapy for years but I don’t know if it’s helping me anymore. Nothing feels right anymore and I’m so lost.
Okay thank you for yiur message, very traumatic. Yiur cousin will not come back and hurt you, it’s a way they get away with it, with threats. I would like to assist you , this feeling can be very strong, and frightening. You will be feeling a mixture of fear and shame , firstly not your fault . When these people carry out this act, do it too feel in control, they may have been abused. Themselves. You find it hard to forget , and stays with us , most of our lives because they use the threat of hurting your family as I said. But you need to talk. I am willing to help , if you require it , get in touch . Good luck
