I know everyone hates me

I know everyone has been secretly hating me as I've been suffering from things recently. Like, my parents forced me to stop using social medias while I very wanted to use them to hang out with my friends, and I've been pretending to continue using YouTube as I don't have real friends to hang out with, also my online friends won't be happy to see me lying to them about stop using social medias even after I apologize them(I didn't stop using social medias on purpose, my parents forced me to do it).

And, I also have something to tell you: I can only vent on social medias as everyone gets mad at me whenever I vent to them, so I had to decide to coming back to use YouTube only to vent but not very often which made me hold my sadness for too long(I can't vent constantly on YouTube). And now I will vent everything out right on this website:

I've been confused by everyone and mistreated by everyone recently so I think I can't stay alive anymore, it's very hard to me to deal with certain things as an autistic person. So I think I can only p*nish myself as everyone asked me for it. And if you can help me, please give me helpful advices