I made mental progress for months and it all just collapsed
At the end of last year I was dealing with very bad anxiety/panic attacks, I felt anxious almost 24/7, I decided to take some time to myself after and that ended up being good for me. It wasn’t all easy and I did have similar feelings throughout February but I eventually managed to overcome it. A month ago I was put into a bad state again by school but I got through it, I reconnected with some old friends even. Unfortunately I lost pretty much everything recently, my friends and by extension support system, my creative outlets, pretty much everything because I hurt someone and I have no way to make it up other than to stay focused on my irl life and get help (which I’m trying to do for now), I don’t know what to do, I was having a mostly alright year and getting better but everything just fell apart, I don’t know how to fix it or who I can go to, I’m not pretending to be a victim but I do want to become better. I just want to be able to fix everything, I wish I could just go back and not do the stupid things I did, I went from having a better life finally to being right back where I started, hating everything and feeling hated by everything and everyone, I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown at every moment like I did before I got better and I don’t know if I can do it again because it took me almost a year to get to where I was.
@BigSadGirl
Hi,
You did a great job. I understand that it is disturbing when a relapse occurs. Sometimes we cannot surf the waves as easily as we want. What do you do to deal with the new situation?
@SolitaryFairy
Thank you, this was mostly online stuff and now they think I’m a danger, I sadly can’t get irl therapy and my parents are very cruel, I’m staying offline until 2024 starts and sadly that means not talking to my remaining online friends for the time being, this all happened very recently so I’m still very upset about this all
Who do they think you are a danger? Why you cannot go to an IRL therapy? What do you mean by staying offline until 2024? That is a long time.
@solitaryfairy
Ok this may be a bit long. I’m considered a danger because I accidentally sent something triggering for someone and they thought I did it intentionally and was looking for things to upset them. I can’t go to IRL therapy because my mom has money problems and my parents tend to be hostile. I’m mostly taking a break to let things calm down and recover myself and try to make sure I don’t repeat these mistakes.
@BigSadGirl
I hope you are going to find your path. In another way, you are lucky because you find this community where you can seek help.