I miss my dad
He’s caused every last bit of my trauma. He’s every bad flashback, why I fear most men, and why most nights I wake up horrified and hyperventilating. But I miss him, I miss the dad he brainwashed me into thinking he was in my early life. Who he was when I was gaslit. I thought he was amazing even if it hurt. Idk. I wanted a relationship with him but he started gaslighting me again. When I get older and brave I’ll tell on him. But for now I’m safe with my mom, and safe away from him even if the little kid in me wants my dad.
@AnonismJade It's hard growing up with an abusive parent. There can be a handful of good times scattered around the trauma from them and we hold on to those moments. But the bad moments like to visit in our dreams and it can affect how we are with other people. I'm glad you're safe now. Maybe you could ask about seeing a counselor or a therapist to help you work through this?
