Incapable of Meaningful Relationships After Trauma
Not really sure where to begin...
Almost all of my life I've been the black sheep.
Was physically & verbally abused by my parents growing up, as well as SA done by mother... My brothers were always preferred by my parents growing up, as I was the only women amongst male siblings... My parents held outdated views on gender roles and is get punished often or hit...
After I escaped the house, I was in a 3 year relationship with an ex who was also physically & verbally abusive. Ended up having a kid with him to...
In-between those times, I've made not-so-good friends who used me for money, free car rides, and constantly put me down.
At this point, I've cut everyone off in my life but I feel...lonely.
I'm introverted, and don't mind being alone, but I don't feel like I have anyone in my life...
I thought I had a best friend, but I don't know how to feel about him. He makes me slightly uncomfortable. Our relationship was flirty at first by nature, but due to the distance, we've both decided against it. I stopped being flirty but he still is. He also ... Mentioned how he likes anime p*rn and views me as "waifu material" and thinks it'd be neat if I did the "virtual tuber" thing, but it makes me uncomfortable....
He also said some other stuff, that seem a bit...sexist with the whole "you're not like other girls" schtick, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I'm just tired at the point when it comes to friendship or love. I want to be left alone, but at the same time, I wish I had some good friend. It seems online is the easiest for me...
TLDR; I grew up being abused, and continue having a hard time finding any meaningful relationships, whether it's platonic or romantic...
@ImpudentIncognito It sounds like you have gone through a lot of challenging experiences in your life, including abuse from your parents and a past abusive relationship. It's understandable that you may feel lonely and exhausted when it comes to relationships. It's important to prioritize your well-being and take steps towards building healthy connections in your life.
One solution could be to seek support from a therapist or counselor. Therapy can provide a safe space for you to process your experiences, develop coping strategies, and work on building healthy relationships. A therapist can also help you navigate any discomfort or unease you may feel in your relationship with your best friend and provide guidance on setting boundaries.
Additionally, consider exploring online communities or groups that align with your interests and hobbies. This can be a way to meet like-minded individuals and potentially form meaningful connections. Take your time in getting to know people and trust your instincts. It's okay to distance yourself from individuals who make you uncomfortable or exhibit sexist behavior.
Remember to prioritize self-care and self-compassion. It's okay to take time for yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Surround yourself with people who respect and value you for who you are. You deserve healthy, supportive relationships in your life.😀
Thanks @BelovedMe.
I used to go to a support group online for those who dealt with parents that have a personality disorder but they were not supportive and quite rude, basically saying the abuse I endured is my problem and some other stuff...
So I come to 7cups instead. I like the Support Group channel here. Occasionally, there are some really amazing groups where I feel heard.
As for therapy...that's a work in process. Have to get employed and work things out... So, I use listeners, but I haven't found the right fit yet or a long term listener.
I'm posting on this forum to see if there's others that can relate or maybe someone who's gone through what I did and can impart some advice. I don't mind advice.