Is this feeling normal, does anyone else get this? Advice for dealing with it?
So. I've always wondered if this is a normal thing, or some sort of result of trauma. Long story short, father unpredictably explodes at my mom. As the eldest child, she'd often rant to me about, since I was old enough to understand words. I've always been her listener, and have always been helping co parent my siblings, as my father is too unpredictable to be told much.
Whenever I'm away from my mother, even just for a few hours with friends, I just feel this... Immense amount of guilt, like im drowning in it. That I wasnt with my mom. Feeling like as if I had abandoned her. Every dam time. Because of this its incredibly difficult to have a decent time outside with this sea of guilt and anxiety. Its been happening all my life, 17 now, and still happening. Is this normal, does anyone else have this? If so how do you deal with this
@TwoFacedTim
I'm not a mental health professional, but what you're describing might be related to the role you've taken on in your family dynamic. It's understandable that you feel a strong sense of responsibility and guilt given your upbringing. However, it could be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor about these feelings to gain better insights and coping strategies. Many people find therapy beneficial for addressing complex emotions and developing healthier ways to manage them.
@justjack2001
Children who live with unpredictable or turbulent parents frequently assume caregiving responsibilities or experience guilt when they are not there to help their parents. You are not in charge of your parents' behavior or feelings. It's normal for children to want to look out for and take care of their parents, but it's important to put your own wellbeing and boundaries before anybody else's. It can be difficult to get rid of these guilt and worry sensations by yourself because they can have developed over time. If you are interested, of course, you might find it helpful to seek assistance from a therapist or counselor who can help you in exploring and navigating these emotions.
@TwoFacedTim
It is a hard question because no it should not be ......... but many a parent has vented and used a child as a listener. Yes sometimes when a child starts to pull away with their own life and friends they may feel guilty and such as you have described.
while you can seek help for your feelings it may be more helpful if you help your mom find someone else to listen... if you break free and lets say go to college etc your mom may repeat same actions with any other siblings.
@TwoFacedTim
Children who live with unpredictable or turbulent parents frequently assume caregiving responsibilities or experience guilt when they are not there to help their parents. You are not in charge of your parents' behavior or feelings. It's normal for children to want to look out for and take care of their parents, but it's important to put your own wellbeing and boundaries before anybody else's. It can be difficult to get rid of these guilt and worry sensations by yourself because they can have developed over time. If you are interested, of course, you might find it helpful to seek assistance from a therapist or counselor who can help you in exploring and navigating these emotions.
