Looking For Conmections Out Here & My Experience with Psychosis

Hi my name is Micah. I noticed people don’t post here often. I have been diagnosed with Schizotypical / Bipolar II. I have experienced auditory hallucinations: whispers, murmurs, and insults. I am constantly hear them all day and music cannot block them out. They come and go and haunt me everyday now. I am looking to find a release from this suffering. I am also 27 and stuck at home and want to desperately move out and I want to find a community of similar minded people who love music, art, technology, and engineering. I am tired of living at home with problems. I am awfully alone too since I am an only child and live with my aunt and grandmother for so long. I don’t have any brothers or a father or really any sense of community other than one friend I’ve known since high school. I don’t enjoy being in my hometown since I have PTSD and a lot trauma I have had began in this place growing up. As for the last six years I’ve been in and out of school, hospitalized, struggled with extreme psychotic episodes of delusions, mania, and depression, and also long distance relationship that tragically ended. It’s been *** seriously and it brought me full circle back home where I grew up. I have a normal job but I am trying to change my life around and pursue a career in technology or engineering (mechanical or electrical) despite my inadequate academic background. It’s extremely tough to be here at home I go to church with my family I feel like the same boy who grew up and I am sitting in a car with just my aunt and grandmother. I feel terribly isolated at church and in my hometown. I know nobody like me and I don’t know how to relate to my peers who use social media I feel disconnected and outcast for to my upbringing, mental health, mixed ethnicity, and overall challenging experiences with school. Anyhow I just wanted to share it’s been awful I have recently experienced auditory hallucinations and came out of extreme psychosis of delusions of grandiose and persecutory beliefs, I am home stuck with my family in my lonely hometown I want to find people and I want to get of here and be normal nothing has been normal for 7 years.