My silence struggle
Am I alone in this?
I have a 5-year-old daughter who is hyperactive. She has a speech delay that affects her communication. It took us a long time to get to where we are now. I mean, unlike before, if you asked her something, she wouldn’t respond. She found it hard to tell us exactly what she wanted—whether she was hungry or thirsty.
Now that I’m starting to enjoy her company more than ever, I found out I’m pregnant again—something I never imagined would happen to me. I haven’t even gotten the chance to fully understand or bond with my daughter. I considered terminating the pregnancy, but my conscience wouldn’t let me. At this point, it’s too late for that, so it’s no longer an option.
The problem now is that I’m not even excited. I feel like the whole world is against me. I haven’t healed from the first experience. Because of my daughter’s hyperactivity, it took us three years to teach her that nighttime is for sleeping. Thinking about how far we’ve come and the thought of starting all over again is weighing heavily on me.
Have you ever felt this way? How did you overcome these feelings?
@Terraline You're absolutely not alone in this—thank you for being so open and honest. What you’re feeling is incredibly valid and very human. Parenting a neurodivergent child comes with a set of challenges many people simply can’t understand unless they’ve lived through it. The exhaustion, the slow and hard-won progress, the constant balancing of emotions—it’s all so real.
The fact that you’ve worked so hard to understand and support your daughter, and that you’re now enjoying her company more than ever, speaks volumes about your strength and love. It’s okay to grieve the timing of this pregnancy. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad mother. It just means you're overwhelmed, tired, and still carrying emotional weight from the journey you've already walked.
You’re right—it is heavy to think about starting over. You’ve climbed a mountain with your daughter, and it’s natural to feel daunted by the idea of doing it again before you've had a moment to breathe. It’s also okay that you’re not feeling excited right now. Emotions aren’t always clean and tidy. Sometimes joy comes later, after acceptance, after space has been made.
What you’ve already done—giving your daughter the love and support she needed—is extraordinary. And even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, you will find your footing again. It's okay to ask for help. Therapy, support groups, talking to people who’ve walked similar paths—those can all make a difference.
You’re doing better than you think. Feeling this way doesn’t make you broken—it makes you beautifully human. We're here for you. You're not alone.
Thank you for your kind words. It means everything to me.
I can relate. I am a mother of 3 and my 10 year old and 4 year old are both hyperactive. I have a one year old. This past year was extremely difficult but finally found a sense of normalcy and peace.
It is manageable as long as you know it’s okay to take it moment by moment. Breathe. And eventually the sun will rise in the morning and before you know it a year will pass and things will feel lighter. This too shall pass and you will be able to have moments of joy and realize your strength. Please just never give up.
Thank you. I feel encouraged and I'm happy I didn't keep this feeling to myself
Thank you. I feel encouraged and I'm happy I didn't keep this feeling to myself