No Longer Hunan: It’s How I Feel
I feel so awful and alone. I am 27 and I struggle with PTSD, depression, and Schizoaffective symptoms. My brain feels foggy and I am frowning everyday for months now and I have no friends at all. Nobody to call or text. I signed up here for the first times I am desperate and so miserable. I don’t care pathetic that makes me sound. I don’t leave my bed for four to five days straight every week and stay in one room for months I rot in my bed I don’t eat any meals ever. I don’t interact with anyone in the outside world for months to almost a year now. I am spiraling my brain feels really numb and freezing cold. I am awfully scared and I am trapped in my place filled with traumatic memories. I can’t feel free or happy anywhere I feel less than human.
No Longer Human* typo I posted this 3 AM give me a break.
Hi. I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. It is not easy and it takes time to process sometimes. You know your body and its limitations. I’m glad you have joined the 7 cups community and we are here to support you. remember that people care.
just another note: the crisis line is also available if you ever need it. You can chat in to them or call 988.
Hi sorry I am not very sociable person very feel lonely and I am not close with my family. I’ve never been and I am only child and I currently live in my childhood town where all my trauma began. I’m 27 and broke and it’s sad looking at memories outside window everyday nothing nothing nostalgic only mistakes and hurt as early 11 years old. I lost my grandfather long time ago. I live with my aunt and grandmother it’s awfully lonely. I want to move out as far as friends I only have one friend since high school who lives in the other side of town but it’s still awfully I only see every three weeks. I want to move out so bad. If not this house I have my other house with my mom and step dad but that place I don’t know a single soul, friend, person. I am not connected there with my family either. It’s terribly I’m only child who grew up with three women for years. As for my dad he abandons me I never been close to him. As for my step dad we have nothing in common
I know the crisis line is available I called them three to four times in two weeks a month ago it’s terrible. Which is why I am here I am so isolated here and desperately looking for community I am tired. I tried and tried I can’t find anyone. In today’s climate of social media and distancing, nobody likes to connect anymore in sincere way at least my peers they ghost and lie to you.
@novoephemera hugs you tightly ❤ the effects trauma can have on us is truly devastating. I'm so glad you found cups ❤ your not alone and too many of us here are struggling in similar ways😥 it's truly heartbreaking. I hope you can get the support and motivation through cups, to keep fighting ❤❤ we are all here for you ❤
I am trying.
Hi sorry I am not very sociable person very feel lonely and I am not close with my family. I’ve never been and I am only child and I currently live in my childhood town where all my trauma began. I’m 27 and broke and it’s sad looking at memories outside window everyday nothing nothing nostalgic only mistakes and hurt as early 11 years old. I lost my grandfather long time ago. I live with my aunt and grandmother it’s awfully lonely. I want to move out as far as friends I only have one friend since high school who lives in the other side of town but it’s still awfully I only see every three weeks. I want to move out so bad. If not this house I have my other house with my mom and step dad but that place I don’t know a single soul, friend, person. I am not connected there with my family either. It’s terribly I’m only child who grew up with three women for years. As for my dad he abandons me I never been close to him. As for my step dad we have nothing in common
@novoephemera I know your trying ❤ I also suffer from depression and cptsd, and I hear voices and sometimes see things. But they diagnosed that due to bring emotionally unstable, not schizophrenic. For 18 years I hardly spoke a word, I don't have any family, I never had the opportunity to make friends. I'm 23 and I am a resident at a old folks nursing home. Do yeah I really do understand all this. But remember this is one chapter of your life. The next chapter that awaits you is full of love and happiness ❤ so push through, just do your best, cause your best is more than enough. Hugs you tightly ❤ you can vent here in the forums as much as you like ❤ we are all here for you ❤❤ how was your day today?
It started good lately for months I’ve done nothing but sit in my bed and sleep endlessly. I am not good at saving for 6 months now I hate myself it it’s embarrassing. I hate the fact I am not even 25 and I still live with my family and in this town. This morning and yesterday I got up early and did my self care consistently and ate breakfast and so on. But now I feel so tired already and I am back on medication but I don’t have a psychiatrist. I am ashamed of myself and tiredness. I have a new job opportunity instead of working as a delivery driver. And it’s training for company called ServiceNow but after the first and second way I find it to be motivated. I don’t know where I am going. I forgot to mention the friends do have moved out and finished their degrees and far away. The only friend I technically have my friend like me but he’s gone to college or make that mistake. He’s been in this town for years every now and then I connect with him but it’s not the same anymore.
@novoephemera please realise that's it's not shameful to be still living at home, most people stay living at home now, cause it's to expensive not to. But if your heart is set on it. Then wait for a while till you can save up a good ammount of money. That new job sounds cool, good luck with that ❤ and well done for getting up doing your morning routine and eating breakfast ❤ that awsome ❤❤ you should be very proud. Depression can make you feel very tired. So rest whenever you need too, it's not laziness, it's health issues. But I'm very proud of you ❤ you should be proud too ❤
Does anyone want to be friends, lately I have experienced auditory hallucinations it’s terrible
@novoephemera
I'm so sorry to hear you have been struggling like this; I'm not sure what you have gone through, but it sounds like you have been through a lot. You don't sound pathetic at all; you're going through a great deal of hardship, and that's not something you have to be ashamed about. You deserve support, compassion, and friendship. The fact you haven't been leaving your bed for four to five days straight every week and not eating much tells me how burdened you are by depression and the sheer weight of pain of the things you have been through.
Being able to get social interaction and go outside is important for your emotional well-being and health though and could potentially be steps forward to adding little things to look forward to in life. It's hard though, and I know that things aren't so simple--if it was that simple, you would have done it already. You deserve better, to feel free and happy, and it breaks my heart to hear you feel less than human. You are human, and very bad things happened to you--things that you should have never had to experience. I am wishing you the best, and you deserve the very best.
If you do reply to this, please tag my username so that I receive it in my notifications; I would be glad to continue talking with you.
@PeacePink Hi I just am seeing this now
@PeacePink
Hello anybody still here?
Yes!! if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. My advice at the moment would be to maybe just go outside and sit somewhere nice and connect with nature, or go for a walk, or just get out of your head for a while.
I hope youre feeling better - life is hard, and you are so amazing for making it this far. you are a wonderful human, and you have your entire life ahead of you.
*Hugs*
Can we be online buddies