Over 16 years later

After revisiting a situation 16 and a half years later, I have been crying as if everything yesterday.   

Not only did I face emotional and narcissistic abuse from late aunt but also from a respite provide who she was paying at the time.

Everything started in late September, early Oct, 2009, they two made my life a living nightmare.

Respite provider situation

• While my aunt took a two week vacation, I stayed at her house while the provider was being paid to take me to and from the bus along with assisting me with anything else.   While she seemed nice enough, she really was not interested in me and nor did she seem to care about me.  She was just provided me a ride to the bus.   Otherwise, everyone and everything else was more important. 

1.  At the start of the second week, we had heavy thunderstorms overnight which brought in major flooding.   While one part of my aunt's house flooded, the water was in inches but when I called the provider, she dismissed me with "Thanks for letting me know, call me if you need anything."  When I called her and asked her to help me later,  her friend and her neighbor were a higher priority. 

"Oh well, I can't come. My neighbor and a friend of mine have more water than your aunt's house. I mean, we are talking about feet, you're talking inches and so I can't come" 

2. Then later that week, I invited her to join me for a movie as a last hurrah and a way of saying "Thank you."   While she agreed to come, she was taking care of another client who she had a meeting for first.    Even though I planned to take to one movie, her client's needs came first. 

"Oh well, my client can't handle all that noise, let's go to another movie because he has to be in bed at a certain time."

At the time, I felt trapped and decided to catch the first hour of another movie beforehand because it was one of those value cinemas.  So I called and left a message for the provider that I was in the movie and would be there for an hour while checking my phone.   Yet, I didn't see any calls, I eventually watched the rest of the movie.    

When I exited the theater,  there were three voicemails on my phone, which two were from the provider and one from my aunt.   At that point, both my aunt and this provider management to humiliate and make me feel bad by accusing me of standing "The poor woman up."  Additionally, the provider had the nerve to stir up the pot by having the movie theater staff and the security look for me at the tiny mall.    

When we finally caught up,  the provider punished me by treating me like a child and managing to have all of us leave the cinema.   She also said that she was quitting on me because of what "I pulled on her"   Meanwhile, here I was apologizing. "You know, you said that a million times but like I said,"
I am done!" 

She also told me afterwards, when getting back to her house  "You could have just walked out to the theater and told me you were watching that other movie and then went to catch the rest of it.  You could have even watched another movie afterward. I would have gladly picked you up too."   Yet, this was never discussed with me

At that point, I told her "I should have suggested we could see Up instead and it was "You know I cannot except that," You said you were going to see Ice Age since I am a Scrat fan anyway" 

When I tried telling her how I felt about having a respite provider it was "Are you having a pity party?"   

Well, when her girlfriend came to watch her other client, she dropped me off at my aunt's house. Meanwhile, I was vulnerable and crying and told her not to leave me.  "Call one of your buddies but call me if you need anything" 

Meanwhile, I went inside and was so confused thinking it was my fault and broke into hysterics and cried so hard, I started throwing things.  I even grabbed a bottle of wine and got drunk that night. 

However, I called a friend in the morning and explained everything who assured me what happened was not my fault. 

😿