Part 1: Outside of Healing

Since starting this journey, I’ve returned to journaling for the first time since adolescence. It feels like reclaiming a lost part of myself.

The painful part is that my grandma—my mama, the one who raised me—ripped pages out of my black composition notebook. I think she sensed how powerful my words could be. Now, as an adult, I’m trying to piece things together—not to rewind backwards, but to understand, so I can move forward.

Spending time outside, connected to the sounds and rhythms of nature, helps me feel less dissociated and more present.

Music has always been my shield because of my trauma. It has protected me in ways I didn’t fully realize before. Now, coming out of it and listening to those songs, I’m like “woowwwwwww.” But I keep telling myself none of this is my fault, coming out of it at the age of 29.

I feel like I lost myself in the middle of my crisis. I quit my work-from-home job because accommodations weren’t being respected while I was also healing from domestic violence the year prior. Now, I’m facing eviction. Despite this, I’m taking the right steps to make things right and move forward.

I’ve reached out to people I was once close to and apologized—letting them know I wasn’t fully aware before and that I don’t want to form trauma bonds anymore. I want to build healthy friendships now, and I’m learning what that truly means.

During this transition, I’ve experienced something like a spiritual awakening. Right now, my feelings feel lost and scared, but I remind myself that my life isn’t over.

For a while, I was self-destructing without even realizing it, and acknowledging that has been painful but necessary.

I’m also realizing that my family is mentally messed up in ways I’m only just beginning to understand, and I deeply want to break that cycle—for my own well-being and for the future.

I’ve faced some real challenges, like fighting for stable housing and feeling let down by communities I thought I could count on—but I’m hopeful about finding genuine connection here.

Hi everyone,

I’m RagingSolacePineapple, but you can call me Sol (like “soul”). I’m an adult healing from past trauma, and I joined 7 Cups to help myself feel less alone in the process.

I’m currently in outpatient therapy, but between sessions I sometimes feel isolated or stuck in my head. I’m hoping to find a safe space here where I can share, listen, and make genuine friendships with people who understand what it’s like to be on a healing journey.

Outside of healing, I enjoy journaling and spending time outside, connected to nature—it helps me feel grounded.

Thanks for reading, and I’m looking forward to getting to know you all.

— Sol