TW: DV, SA. When am I going to stop being reminded?

It’s been almost 8 months since my ex left my life after he ended up physically and SA me after years of dealing with mutual addiction and emotional abuse. I’m in therapy, I’m 8 months sober, I got into a very competitive job program and recently netted an amazing job from it, I’m actually really happy I’m doing really well now for myself. I still notice though that I’m hypervigilant for my ex — I had a panic attack yesterday because when I was walking up to a coffee stand, a guy in front of me had a similar coat and similar glasses and I thought: wouldn’t that be crazy if I saw him for the first time since he left and it ruins my Christmas! I don’t even know why seeing him scares me so badly but if I see a man who looks like him (hair, glasses, build, sometimes just vibes) I will end up freaking out and having to isolate myself (bathroom, car, empty aisle, etc) until I can calm down. This happens almost every time I go out and sometimes happens at my healthcare job. My coworkers thankfully are really understanding.

I have dreams about him constantly (even with the PTSD night terror medication I’m on) where we reconnect and get back into a relationship, or he chastises me like he did in the past, or he has a new partner I don’t even know ??? like why would I care if he has a new partner? I don’t know if he has one or not, I blocked him on everything possible even spotify lol. I just woke up from a dream where he was chastising me AND making me feel bad by telling me he has a new partner and the dream got lucid for a sec because he started telling me in this dream that since I’m dreaming about this scenario so often it means I still love him and need to stop staying away from him. It’s so upsetting and I feel sick. I’m sick thinking of it. I just want this to go away