Trauma Bond and Betrayal — I Need Support
Hi everyone,
I’m really struggling and I don’t know where else to talk about this.
A few days ago, I went through something extremely painful. I found out that the man I loved was lying to me, and I saw him with his ex when he told me they were done. When I confronted him, he insulted me in public, protected her, denied me, and walked away while I was breaking down. I felt completely abandoned and humiliated.
My body went numb, I couldn’t breathe, and since then I can’t stop replaying everything. I can’t sleep, my chest hurts, and I feel devastated and ashamed.
There has been manipulation, emotional abuse, and even physical hurt before, but I always forgave him. Now I feel broken and trauma bonded.
I don’t know how to stop this pain.
If anyone has gone through something like this, I really need to feel less alone.
@Isolde80
I am so sorry you are going through this.
You deserve so much more.
Not someone who treats you like this.
Ridicules you.
Manipulates you.
Insults you.
There's no justification in the world at all for any physical abuse.
You need a man in your life not a bully.
Someone to show you love, respect, kindness and care.
Take this time to heal and find happiness again and see that he was never worth it!
Wishing you all the best 💖
@Isolde80
It is often cruel when we find things out in such a way. this should be clear it is so over... let go
I feel some who feel some type of trauma bond to move on ... think about the real why. My best friend was in a situation just as you described feeling bonded was not about this person who hurt her in so many ways ... it was about she had forgave and let go of many times of being hurt... the real hurt was she needed to forgive herself ...
To forgive herself for making excuses to stay .. forgive herself if she defended that choice to others and does not want to admit he was NOT worth it. Hold your head high know you deserve better and his ex can have someone you are done with.
I've been in a situation like this as well. I thought everything was going well and before I knew it I was dumped and he was walking around with his ex. It was devastating because I wanted the affection so badly. After the breakup I was a mess. It was humiliating. Chest pains, a lot of crying. I even gained weight. Was it a terrible experience? Yes, absolutely. 20 years later do I still think about it? Yes I do. It affected how I acted in relationships. It's tough learning how to trust again. But perhaps, it was for a reason. That reason being ,, maybe you're too trusting.. it's a tough one and it can make you bitter. But try to protect and love yourself. That person wasn't worth your time and that's all it boils down to. You deserve better.
@Isolde80 I now it's not easy to get through betrayal. But you should never blame yourself because of others' mistakes . May Allah help you sis
