Trauma/Grooming

Today is the birthday of the person who groomed me, and I went back to look at the last messages we sent each other before cutting contact. I can't sleep, I feel sick, and yet I still miss them so much. I dont even feel it was their fault, I feel guilty. I feel like it was my fault. If they hadn't been an adult it would've been. And I miss them and I want them here even though I know it will just hurt me more.

I miss them so much.