Trauma

Hey. I've had the worst relationships with men through my whole life. I was S.A by a family member in my childhood and then My dad was physically and mentally abusive. Now still in my life, he continues to control me at the age of 22, track my car listen to my phone calls, all while I'm living at my mums. He has a high position in the country I'm in so he framed my step dad and now he's in prison (the only man Ive managed to trust) . Ive been in some horrible toxic relationships where I got cheated on and now that I've finally got a good man I do everything I can to self sabotage. We almost broke up today because he may have had some females following him on *** and my mind just went blank. I said some really mean things that he didn't deserve and I could not get my anger or pain under control for even a second😓 I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I hurt everyone around me. My anger issues has started to affect not just my relationship with guys but my friends and family too. Im so sensitive about any slight feeling of being neglected and end up raging with no control and then feeling regret after. I hate my life.