Trauma: calming your inner child

Trauma: comforting your inner child

When you have been to trauma as a child and you did not feel safe, your basic needs have not been secured. It could be that besides that you missed a warm home, comforting words or just an opportunity to play. Unfortunately the children that experienced something that shouldn't have happened, also missed something that should have been there.

When you as an adult are still suffering from the things you experienced as a child, it could be that you still feel as overwhelmed, as hurt, as scared, or whatever is it is you were, when you were younger. Those feelings are difficult to cope with, because in the past you did not have an adult who helped you manage these emotions well enough to be able to calm your stress system down again. So it is definitely not weird at all that these feelings feel uncontrolable.

But what if you look at your wounded inner child? Why does he or she feels angry, sad, or scared right now? And if you know, what does this child need? Is it comfort, someone to talk to, safety, something else? If you can figure this out, you could try and make a start to take care of this child as the adult you are now. 

Comfort examples:

Build a pillow and blanket fort

Make something warm for yourself

Watch a movie you loved as a child

Listen to a meditation or an audiobook for Children

Spray a soft parfume

Cuddle a stuffed animal

Safety examples:

Check out the date, month, and year of today

Get in touch with someone

Hold something comforting

Tell your child that you are there

Just being a child examples:

- trying out new things

- make a finger paint artwork

- go a block around the house and search for the most beautiful leaves

It is possible that when you start listening and caring for the child inside of you, the overwhelming feeling will become at least a little more bearable, for this part of you needs extra love and attention, and not more of the same abandonment, rejection or frustration. 

And however I do understand that it is challenging to open yourself to a part of yourself that hurts, it is also the most beautiful thing, if you can look at you and say "I'm here".