Trauma lead to more trauma?

I feel like my inability to heal has affected my life dramatically. I was SA as a child. I started drinking and doing drugs as a teen. For a couple of years it was like a vicious cycle. I was drowning my sorrows in drugs and alcohol, and someone would take advantage of me, so I would dive deeper in my addiction. But the further in my addictions I got, the less aware I was and less safe my surroundings became. It was like my unhealthy coping mechanisms were directly putting me in harms way. But the pain and trauma was piling up and I couldn’t handle it sober.

I’ve broken the cycle but the damage is done. I’m way more traumatized now bc I didn’t get help and I thought I could party the pain away. And I carry the guilt that it’s all my fault.

I guess I’m saying this to say, please get help. Don’t self medicate and try to numb yourself away like I did. It will only lead to more pain. You can’t escape or run from it forever.