idk
I am having a hard time tonight. About 2-3 weeks ago i found out my boyfriend of almost 2 years has been married this whole time, and living a complete double life. Ive essentially gone no contact but.. I can explain the mental abuse..... I feel like my brain has spent these last two weeks trying to process what actually happened to me and i just feel... broken. I know i have to take accountability.. I stayed longer than i should have, trying to fix something i though was real for both of us.. I should have respected myself more. Maybe i deserved it.
@chrundle even now.. when i think back to it all, all i can remember is him calling me crying. He was supposed to be on a deployment in syria. He called me in the middle of the night crying saying he had gotten blown up and his skin was burning.. I stayed up all night worried about him.. It was all a lie. This past 6-8 months he's told me he's been on deployment, he's been in a different city, living with his wife and son. He convinced me to take a pay decrease at my job and start working from home so i we could move in together.. He let me facetime with his mom, his son, his sister, his bestfriend, his bestfriends wife... and they all knew.. They all looked at me, knowing he was married, and helped him deceive me... I gave this man everything i could.. I gave him everything i had to offer. No it wasnt perfect.. but it was everything i had, and it was worth nothing to him. It amounted to absolutely nothing. And now, im nothing but a mistress. I cant explain how embarrassed and just so foolish i feel.
