journal thing want feedback
Lately, I have been having a hard time. With memories from my past trauma and the wanting to self-harm by scratching, but I am not doing so. The trauma is that of the sexual abuse from both when I was about 4 and from the time I was in high school. I am getting flashbacks from both of them at different times. I am also having a hard time with my life at home, as I live with my parents, and it seems like they demand so much from me when I know that some of it is just what needs to be done for the house, but some of it feels like they are treating me like a teenager. I don't have my license, which makes it hard for me to get out and about.
@Pumkineyes25
🥺
I'm sorry to hear what you suffered as a child and at school 🩷
You didn't deserve that!
I'm sorry you have no freedom at home and it can be overwhelming living up to expectations at times, you can only do your best 🩵
I kind of know how you feel it's real hard to keep reliving the past. My father raped his stepdaughter which is my mom. About 2 years later he did the same thing but it was too his wife's sister daughter. I went through a lot and still going through a lot with the betrayal of family members hiding stuff from you and it gets to her for a while he will point fingers at me growing up I have a sister which is a cousin and her brothers with their aunts and uncles. I struggle with this with depression alcohol mental illness and whatever else holds me back. I'm trying to work through this but it's hard. Sexual abuse rape any type of humiliation or something nobody should have to live with. I really feel sorry for what you went through and what you're going through right now. Just want to let you know you're not by yourself this is my first time here on 7 cup. A lot of people say they understand but they really are cuz they never been through it. They only understanding part is I think is that they see what we go through they don't feel what we go through. I hope things work out for you and they will.
I never had childhood trauma but I was raped by people I knew at age 19 and then again at 23. At 23 it was a repeated week-long awful situation. For years I was a somewhat extreme self-injurer. I still have times when I get intrusive thoughts and memories. I still get scared for no reason sometimes. I've come a long way the last few years but still think about my trauma every day. I'd like to do whatever I can to support and encourage you. If you want to talk sometime I am here for anything you need to say.
@Pumkineyes25
Today has been a difficult day as my parents think I do things to avoid household chores, but I have also been down and not really wanting to do anything but relax and be myself. They even yelled at me for doing things not the way they would do it, and then wonder why I run off to my room or to my computer to write or to watch my shows. I have recently had thoughts wanting to self-harm, as I have had some memories coming back to me, and they are vivid as to what happened. I have also been self-blaming some.
