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Pumkineyes25
2 1,471 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 49 Compassion hearts66 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes39 Current upvotes39 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceNovember 2, 2022
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Recent forum posts
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Childhood tigger warning mention of SA and SH
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 June 25th
...See more I have been thinking about my childhood recently, which I hardly remember much of, but the parts that I do remember, I do not want to remember, that is, because what I am remembering is SA. It lasted for about 2 years at 2 different times with 2 different people. I am remembering specifics of what happened, and I had been self-harming. I have also been thinking about a time when I was in college the first time and was coerced into doing some things that I have realized were not my fault, but it feels like it was my fault.
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TW SA
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 May 13th
...See more I do not know where this should be. When I was a child and a teenager, I was sexually abused by two different people. My parents seem to think that it is ok to bring up my past in front of me and behind my back when they do not realize that I can hear them. It really bothers me that they seem not to think that I am having a hard time with the memories and have flashbacks when I know that they talk about my past without me. It is even harder on the day of and a couple of days after I meet with my therapist, as I am already in a raw state of mind from talking about it with them. My parents do see what is wrong with me after they bring up the subject of the past, particularly the subject of sexual abuse. So right now, I need to vent to people who might be able to give me some guidance or support for this. Thank you for taking the time to read and help someone out.
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journal thing want feedback
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 March 22nd
...See more Lately, I have been having a hard time. With memories from my past trauma and the wanting to self-harm by scratching, but I am not doing so. The trauma is that of the sexual abuse from both when I was about 4 and from the time I was in high school. I am getting flashbacks from both of them at different times. I am also having a hard time with my life at home, as I live with my parents, and it seems like they demand so much from me when I know that some of it is just what needs to be done for the house, but some of it feels like they are treating me like a teenager. I don't have my license, which makes it hard for me to get out and about.
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Not knowing what to do
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 March 16th
...See more I am in need of writing things down, but I have had a bad experience with doing so, as others have used those words against me. I just don't know what to do as I am feeling down about things that have happened lately and my own thoughts.
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Parents still friendly with abuser
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 March 1st
...See more My parents are still friendly with my cousin who sexually abused me when I was a young kid, about 4 or 5. It feels like they do not care how it affects me anymore or that I am just now working through the pain that it has caused me over the years. It comes to me in waves about what happened to me, and when they talk with the wife of the abuser, I get a wave of what happened, and then I feel like I might shut down. I also can not talk to my parents about it, as they bring it back to things that they have experienced and not about what I am trying to tell them, which is not helpful in any way.
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journaling and questions
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 June 14th, 2025
...See more As of late, I have had trauma on my mind and was wondering if others thought that journaling might be able to help me get things out. I have tried journaling in the past, but it has never stuck, and I am in a place where I just want to talk about what happened and figure out why I cant let any of it go.
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realization
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 November 20th, 2024
...See more I am just realizing that it is coming up on the ten-year mark from when the abuse stopped. It is messing with me a little, as I don't normally talk about it, and I am now trying to heal from everything to me. I feel like some of it is my fault as I never told anyone what was going on, and it went on for three years. I know that it is NOT my fault. It just feels it at times. I wish I had people that I could talk to about it. I just have not felt ready to open up to anyone. At times, it feels like I am going through all of this alone. 
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Healing
Trauma Support / by Pumkineyes25
Last post
 March 11th, 2025
...See more I feel like I am never going to heal from my trauma, even though I know it is possible, it just feels like it is never going to happen. I wish I knew how to feel like I could heal from it. I feel like I have moved past it, and then something happens, and everything comes back like the trauma just happened.
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