my little thinking space

@Zeahima

Hello, my dear. As I sat here and read your post, my heart was just broken💔. I am so glad that you found the courage to reach out and tell your truth. I am so sorry that you had to endure such a horrific experience as that. You are right every person is not evil or a threat. You did not deserve this to happen to you, and no, you are not alone in this type of SA. I am glad that you have been able to get away from the abusers and are safe.

I understand that the trauma and damage done to the body is a constant reminder of what

happened. Now you are alive and able to tell your story, and you need not be ashamed.

I can relate to you in many areas of SA. My family members abused me for much of my life, and I understand the impact it has on oneself. Consider this damage as your battle scars that you survived. You are alive, and you can help someone else who is going through this. Because we speak from experience. You are brave, and I hear strength and a silence that has been broken to help free you from this emotional turmoil.

You are a joy and a precious gem. You are worthy of so much more. I am grateful that you have a partner now that respects and validates you. We are not victims, but we are conquers. Hold your head up high and stick out your chest and let the world know I Am Alive Despite of.......

We are all going to heal these scars, but it is a process of slow, easy steps. We got this❤️😊

Just feeling *** rn. I'll be flying out of country in a few days, and I'm anxious about flying with my cane. Nervous about having memory issues while I'm far from anyone who knows me or could help. I'm so tired of having this effect every area of my life.

I've missed so many appointments lately and havent even noticed since days after. It's costing me time and money I just don't have.

I keep getting 'triggered' I guess by small things. The mention of someone being late to pick up their kid from school reminded me of all the times my caregivers just didn't come for me or forgot about me when I was at school or somewhere else. Any loudness or yelling, even if it isn't violent or mean, will send me into a state of tenseness or panic. I get overstimulated even easier now. I'm not usually a very emotional person, but recently very small things my partner does will really crush me inside. He didn't seem very happy or excited about two pretty big recent accomplishments I had. He didn't even say he was glad it went well, or he was proud of me, or really do much more than acknowledge it. Just made me feel bad inside. Hearing unknown or even known but not closely known voices around me will make me so tense and paranoid. I hate this.